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Registered User
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 312
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From: State of Confusion
Scam on older men
I think this is one of the most heartless scams tried...Please warn all
your older men acquaintances....
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men who are apparently past
the age of giving a running pursuit.
What happens is that when the intended victim stops for a red light, a
completely nude and good looking, nicely tanned, unbelievably
well-enhanced woman comes up. With bosom bouncing, and body stretched to its full potential, she pretends to wash your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens the back door of your car,
taking anything you have in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me two times Friday and five times Saturday---I couldn't find them
on Sunday.
your older men acquaintances....
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men who are apparently past
the age of giving a running pursuit.
What happens is that when the intended victim stops for a red light, a
completely nude and good looking, nicely tanned, unbelievably
well-enhanced woman comes up. With bosom bouncing, and body stretched to its full potential, she pretends to wash your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens the back door of your car,
taking anything you have in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me two times Friday and five times Saturday---I couldn't find them
on Sunday.
Thread Starter
Chapter President
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,983
Likes: 1
From: Sedalia, Texas
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more
important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep
the sidewalk."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more
important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep
the sidewalk."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Registered User
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 826
Likes: 1
From: Saskatoon, Sk, Canada
Bear Hunting
Bear Hunting
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom.
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and ****** another one?"
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom.
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and ****** another one?"
Registered User
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,686
Likes: 0
From: Battle Creek Michigan
Originally Posted by berner
Bear Hunting
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom.
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and ****** another one?"
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom.
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to town and ****** another one?"
Registered User
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 78
Likes: 0
From: New Mexico
Nobody asked for them, but here are some little known Texas facts:
Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles
Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles
El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
World's first rodeo was in Pecos... July 4, 1883.
The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.
The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first
full time coach for Rice University in Houston.
Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North
America.
Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900 caused by a
hurricane in which over 8000 lives were lost on Galveston Island.
The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was "Houston.."
<Bragging Rights!> The King Ranch is larger than Rhode Island.
Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours
in and around Alvin in July 1979.
Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, instead of by
annexation. (This allows the Texas flag to fly at the same height as the US
flag.)
A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period after Dr in Dr
Pepper.
Texas has had six capital cities:.
1. Washington-on-the-Brazos
2. Harrisburg
3. Galveston
4. Velasco
5. West Columbia
6. Austin
The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller
than the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. (by 7 feet).
The name Texas comes from the Hasini Indian word "tejas" meaning friends.
Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.
The State animal is the Armadillo. (An interesting bit of trivia about the
armadillo is they always have four babies! They have one egg which splits
Into four and they either have four males or four females. (Well... I
thought it was interesting anyway!)
The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS - TEXAS STYLE
People here in Texas have trouble with all those shalls and shall nots in
the Ten Commandments. Folks here just aren't used to talking in those
terms. So, some folks out in west Texas got together and translated the
"King James" version into "King Ranch" version: Ten Commandments, cowboy
style. Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church
in Fairlie, Texas.
1) Just one God.
2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
5) Put nothin' before God.
6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
7) No killin'.
8) Watch yer mouth.
9) Do n't take what ain't yers.
10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
That's kinda plain 'n simple don't ya think?
Y'all have A NICE Day NOW, Ya Hear?
May God litter your life with blessings!
Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles
Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles
El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
World's first rodeo was in Pecos... July 4, 1883.
The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water.
The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first
full time coach for Rice University in Houston.
Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North
America.
Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900 caused by a
hurricane in which over 8000 lives were lost on Galveston Island.
The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was "Houston.."
<Bragging Rights!> The King Ranch is larger than Rhode Island.
Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours
in and around Alvin in July 1979.
Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, instead of by
annexation. (This allows the Texas flag to fly at the same height as the US
flag.)
A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period after Dr in Dr
Pepper.
Texas has had six capital cities:.
1. Washington-on-the-Brazos
2. Harrisburg
3. Galveston
4. Velasco
5. West Columbia
6. Austin
The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller
than the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. (by 7 feet).
The name Texas comes from the Hasini Indian word "tejas" meaning friends.
Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.
The State animal is the Armadillo. (An interesting bit of trivia about the
armadillo is they always have four babies! They have one egg which splits
Into four and they either have four males or four females. (Well... I
thought it was interesting anyway!)
The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS - TEXAS STYLE
People here in Texas have trouble with all those shalls and shall nots in
the Ten Commandments. Folks here just aren't used to talking in those
terms. So, some folks out in west Texas got together and translated the
"King James" version into "King Ranch" version: Ten Commandments, cowboy
style. Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church
in Fairlie, Texas.
1) Just one God.
2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
5) Put nothin' before God.
6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
7) No killin'.
8) Watch yer mouth.
9) Do n't take what ain't yers.
10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
That's kinda plain 'n simple don't ya think?
Y'all have A NICE Day NOW, Ya Hear?
May God litter your life with blessings!
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 820
Likes: 0
From: Owensboro KY
Originally Posted by Ray Roton
I think this is one of the most heartless scams tried...Please warn all
your older men acquaintances....
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men who are apparently past
the age of giving a running pursuit.
What happens is that when the intended victim stops for a red light, a
completely nude and good looking, nicely tanned, unbelievably
well-enhanced woman comes up. With bosom bouncing, and body stretched to its full potential, she pretends to wash your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens the back door of your car,
taking anything you have in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me two times Friday and five times Saturday---I couldn't find them
on Sunday.
your older men acquaintances....
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men who are apparently past
the age of giving a running pursuit.
What happens is that when the intended victim stops for a red light, a
completely nude and good looking, nicely tanned, unbelievably
well-enhanced woman comes up. With bosom bouncing, and body stretched to its full potential, she pretends to wash your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens the back door of your car,
taking anything you have in the car.
They are very good at this.
They got me two times Friday and five times Saturday---I couldn't find them
on Sunday.
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 755
Likes: 0
From: St Augustine, Florida
You Texas guys might enjoy this!!
Survivor - Texas Style
>>>
>>>The contestants will start in Dallas,
>>>travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston
>>>and down to Brownsville.
>>>
>>>They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso,
>>>then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo.
>>>Down to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to
>>>Dallas.
>>>
>>>Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper
>>>sticker that reads:
>>>
>>>"I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore,
>>>George Strait Sucks, Hillary in 2008, and I'm here to
>>>confiscate your guns!"
>>>
>>>The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins!!
>>>
>>>The contestants will start in Dallas,
>>>travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston
>>>and down to Brownsville.
>>>
>>>They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso,
>>>then to Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo.
>>>Down to Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to
>>>Dallas.
>>>
>>>Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper
>>>sticker that reads:
>>>
>>>"I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore,
>>>George Strait Sucks, Hillary in 2008, and I'm here to
>>>confiscate your guns!"
>>>
>>>The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins!!
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 755
Likes: 0
From: St Augustine, Florida
The corporate way!
American car company Canoe race
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on
the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak
performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged
and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and
recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight
people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight
people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large
amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were
steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management
structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area
steering superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the
"Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens
for the rower.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment,
extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American
management! laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of < BR> a new canoe, sold the paddles and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses, and
the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on
the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak
performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged
and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and
recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight
people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight
people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large
amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were
steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management
structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area
steering superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the
"Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens
for the rower.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment,
extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American
management! laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of < BR> a new canoe, sold the paddles and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses, and
the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
