So I'm guessing she ATE several of those starving Pigmys?

 

I know i would

 

These are the actual INDIAN STYLE ABSENCES from parents-- including
spelling.

1. My son is under a doctor's care today and should not take P.E. today.
please execute him.
2. Please excuse LIsa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28. 29,30,
31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland frrom P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been botheresby
very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in schoolo because he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Tommy Yazzie for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea
and his boots leak.
12. Irving Tso was absenent yesterday because he missed his bust.
13. Please excuse Jim for being. It was his father's fault.
14. I kept Billie home becuase she had to go Christmas shopping becuase I
don't know her size she wear.
15. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper of the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it
was Sunday.
16. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.
17. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.
18. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
19. Please excuse linda, she has been sick and under the doctor.
20. MY Favorite excuse slip....... Maryann was absent December 11-16,
becuase she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had low grade
fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best, eighter, sore throat and
fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last
night.

 

Thanks for those Chris, I laughed so hard I look as if I cried.

 

how do u get a blonde to marry you?

 

Tell her she's pregnant.

 

what did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?

 

Is it mine?

 

oh, youre good

 

A Blonde woman finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

The Blonde again prays ..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and still no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she is confronted by the voice of God Himself:

"Meet Me halfway on this Blondie, Please! "




V
V
V



" Buy a Ticket."

 

a blonde is going to get her hair cut. she sits in the chair and the barber asks the blonde to take her head-phones off. "NO!" shouts the blonde. "if i take them off i will die!" so the barber just cuts around them. next time she comes to get her hair cut. its a different barber. this barber doesnt asks, he just yanks em right off her head. suddenly the blonde runs around for about 30 seconds and drops dead on the floor. the first barber then walks in. "what have u done! u werent supposed to take them off?" he then takes the head phones and puts them on. he hears.....


















"breathe in. breathe out. breathe in. breathe out

 

Ya heard about the blond coyote that got caught in a trap?????







Chewed off three legs and still couldnt get out.........



For Blond jokes, go back to pages one through 4 of this thread I beleive....

 

Or for more Blonde jokes go here

https://www.dieseltruckresource.com/...ad.php?t=58146

 

True story..............One girl in my daughters' class is blonde (they are in the 11th grade). They had some kind of paper to hand in close to the end of the class. The blonde waves her hand and says "Can I have my paper back?" The teacher asked why and the reply was "I spelled my last name wrong". Her last name is Maki.

 

Would you remarry???

A husband and wife are sitting in bed one night reading, looks at him and
asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence-

HUSBAND: "Crap."