: <br>After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before <br>getting out of the water? <br>Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?<br>Aren't all generalizations false? <br>Can fat people go skinny-dipping? <br>Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!? <br>Can you be a closet claustrophobic? <br>Can you grow birds by planting birdseed? <br>Did Adam and Eve have navels? <br>Do one legged ducks swim in circles? <br>Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? <br>Does anybody ever vanish with a trace? <br>Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? <br>How can there be self-help groups? <br>How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? <br>How do you know when yogurt goes bad? <br>How do you know when you're out of invisible ink? <br>If inert is to be stationary, what is ert? <br>If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? <br>If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him? <br>If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? <br>If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits? <br>If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman? <br>If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? <br>If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? <br>If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? <br>If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown? <br>If a tree falls in the woods, and lands on a mime, does anyone care? <br>If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? <br>If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler? <br>If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? <br>If God sneezes...what should you say? <br>If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? <br>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? <br>If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? <br>If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? <br>If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum? <br>If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? <br>If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? <br>If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? <br>If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first? <br>If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? <br>If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? <br>If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? <br>If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras? <br>If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry? <br>If you bear a child, why do you have a cow? <br>If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up? <br>If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet? <br>If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them? <br>If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? <br>If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time? <br>If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done? <br>If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record? <br>If you take a shower, where do you put it? <br>If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? <br>If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly? <br>If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? <br>Is it possible to be totally partial? <br>Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? <br>Isn't hot water already hot? <br>Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? <br>Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? <br>Shouldn't it be some things in moderation? <br>Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic? <br>Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat? <br>There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? <br>What color is a chameleon on a mirror? <br>What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed? <br>What do sheep count when they can't sleep? <br>What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? <br>

 

<br><br>Good Questions<br><br><br>Why do park on driveways and drive on parkways ? <br><br> : Eddie : 8)<br>

 

What happened to the first 6 ups? <br>What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? <br>What is another word for thesaurus? <br>What is the speed of dark? <br>What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on? <br>What was the best thing before sliced bread? <br>What's another word for synonym? <br>When people lose weight, where does it go? <br>When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs? <br>When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? <br>When you open a new bag of cotton *****, are you supposed to throw the top one away? <br>When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in? <br>When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? <br>Where are Preparations A through G? <br>Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? <br>Who tows the tow trucks when they break down? <br>Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? <br>Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? <br>Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange? <br>Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's? <br>Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room? <br>Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? <br>Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force? <br>Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually? <br>Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like? <br>Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? <br>Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee? <br>Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces? <br>Why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways? <br>Why do we have hot water heaters? <br>Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? <br>Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? <br>Why does bottled water have an expiration date? <br>Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? <br>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? <br>Why doesn't superglue stick to its container? <br>Why don't sheep shrink in the rain? <br>Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees? <br>Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? <br>Why is a women's prison called a penal colony? <br>Why is it called a TV set when you only get one? <br>Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic? <br>Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? <br>Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? <br>Why is the word abbreviate so long? <br>Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape? <br>Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? <br>Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? <br>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? <br>Would a fly without wings be called a walk? <br>Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? <br>Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? <br>Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? <br>Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip? <br>Do fish get cramps after eating? <br>Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? <br>Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? <br>Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's? <br>How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? <br>How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? <br>How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? <br>How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty? <br>How is it possible to have a civil war? <br>How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on? <br>How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it

 

If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk? <br>If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause? <br>If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? <br>If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? <br>If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? <br>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? <br>If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, &quot;Quit while you're ahead&quot;? <br>If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2? <br>If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery? <br>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? <br>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? <br>How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? <br>If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently? <br>Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? <br>If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out? <br>If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain? <br>If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? <br>Is there a Dr. Salt? <br>What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? <br>What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot? <br>What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? <br>What happens if you get scared half to death twice? <br>When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves? <br>Whose cruel idea was it for the word &quot;lisp&quot; to have an &quot;s&quot; in it? <br>Why aren't there bullet-proof pants? <br>Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using? <br>Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? <br>Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor? <br>Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? <br><br>

 

Augh!! My brain hurts!! <br><br>-SFB