A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:


A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange
juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, a 1 lb.
package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor
belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she
placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.


She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk
to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she
said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on
earth did you know that?"


The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

 

 

i love it!

 

Yours is better but that reminds me of the blonde that heard about a milk bath being so good for the skin. So she left a note for the milkman to leave her 15 gallons of milk. The milkman looked at the note and thought surely this must be a mistake, she must mean 1.5 gallons. So the milkman knocks on the door and asks the woman if she really wanted 15 gallons. She tells him yes and that she wanted to take a bath in it. So he says ok do you want pastuerized? Nope just up to my neck.

 

both of those are funny!

"its better to be thought of as stupid than for you to speak and remove all doubt..."

Tx

 

LMSHRTHO

 

Let me take a guess...
Laughing My Sweaty Hemorrhoids 'Round The Horse O-Ring...




Did I come close???

 

Just trying to follow the rules......
Laughed My Silly Hiney Right The Heck Off, but I like yours better.

 

the drunk did not have enuff beer in him, or sheo wouda been beautiful.

 

 

DOH!