OK I stole it from another forum but its funny....<br>Zen Type Thoughts For The Day <br><br>1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, <br>for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave <br>me alone.<br><br>2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a <br>leaky tire. <br><br>3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your <br>neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. <br><br>4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. <br><br>5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. <br><br>7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. <br><br>8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. <br><br>9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. <br><br>10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way,<br>when you criticize them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.<br><br>11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. <br><br>12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, <br>and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. <br><br>13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was <br>probably worth it. <br><br>14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. <br><br>15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. <br><br>16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. <br><br>17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes <br>from bad judgment. <br><br>18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it <br>back in your pocket. <br><br>19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. <br><br>20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, <br>and it holds the universe together. <br><br>21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. <br><br>22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.<br><br>23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. <br><br>24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. <br><br>25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt... <br>then things get worse. <br><br>26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative <br>on the same night. <br><br>27. There is a fine line between &quot;hobby&quot; and &quot;mental illness.&quot; <br><br>28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too <br>seriously. <br><br>29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make <br>a big deal about your birthday...around age 11. <br><br>30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

 

 

Those are great!<br><br>Now my question is, what was #6? ;D

 

LMAO!!!!