much as I hate to say it...if he's abused her for 10 years, its pretty well a done deal. She has the "battered wife syndrome". Any woman who dosnt get out within say...a couple physical confrontations is pretty well gonna stay there. Ive seen it happen over and over again to people I was close to. No matter how bad they get hurt, no matter how much they know its not right, no matter who begs and pleads with them..theyll go right back. Id say you either have something done about it, or do it yourself. Chances are though...as backwards as it sounds..she may well defend him. Its like "stockholm syndrome". And no matter how much your "There" it will not help. Being there for someone in that situation just eases their pain a little to the point that they become comfortable again. "yes, im geting the **** beat out of me, but somebody cares for me." There is not that immediate urgency to get out, theyve got a crutch to help them along. Im not saying alienate her, but dont expect your support to get her to make a decision. It has to be for her, made by her, and only her.

As bad as it is, its very likley that the 2 boys might develop the same behavior. They need as much counseling as she does

 

She needs to leave. Then she needs to register a restraining order.
I can't understand why guys beat women.

 

Because he and all men who think its right too do this are flat out low life cur dogs who are the most cowardly men alive and need too have a boot up there *** for harming the one thing that loves them unconditionally.

 

Well said Heidi!
That just disgusts me!!I can't say what I really want to say so I will leave it at that.

 

Hey, A cur dog is way better than scum that hit women......

 

I've dated 2 women who have been beaten in past relationships; they don't trust after that. That is a total shame. It's not fair to them nor the new guy.

 

Every state has a public agency that includes services something along the line of Children and Family Services.

What you need to do is contact the agency and ask for help for the woman.

If they belong to a religious group or church you need to chat with their leader or pastor, unless it is a Muslem organization then this is their normal
behavior and treatment of women.

She also needs your support and counseling so she takes the next step to break the abuse cycle. The same for the nephew, he needs a direct discussion of the issue with you, even if it makes him unhappy.

If this is allowed to continue the children of the couple will believe that is normal family behavior and the cycle will continue with the next generation.

 

I don't think shark would touch scum chum like that. Probably couldn't be used to chunk for tuna either. Guess that just means he is totally useless to society.

Just don't understand guys like this, what kind of cowardly state of mind does one have to be in to beat on the very person that loves you the most. Any guy that hits his wife, girlfriend doesn't deserve to have a woman in his life or even a set of *****.....

I wish all parties involved the best.

 

Some or all of you are right in the area for what needs to be done. However you have to understand the way they are thinkin, the woman that is. You can call the cops all you want but unless your state carries the prosacution to trail with out her, it will not help. But understand this something needs to be done and soon, if not he will kill her! It an unfortunate truth, she needs to get out of there and get cousealing(spl?) to help her understand it is not her, IT IS HIM and the way he was rised. You need to contact the local D.A. or S.A. in that area and see what can be done legaly(as much as I think this guy needs the snot kicked out of him) if you do the kickin he will call the cops because he is a coward. There are groups and org. all over the county that help woman is this type of situation contact them also. BTW I work for a Sheriffs dept in Fl, I just don't know S.C. law, so what I am suggesting is probablly going to be your best course of action.

 

What are you doing man????? Beat his BUTT!!!!! If my nephew or brother was doing such I would beat the H E double hockey sticks out of them. I wouldn't say anything. Just walk up and let the beating begin.....

 

Whatever you do, you have to first and foremost make sure she is willing to say enough is enough (and stick with it). My fiancee's cousin is in a similar situation (although not as violent). The problem is that she'll say she's fed up and wants to do something about it, but as soon as the words have to become actions, she backs down again.

The rest of the family absolutely can't stand this guy (drug user, multiple DWIs, etc). They've already said he's not welcome at any family functions, but this just causes her to turn against the family because she can't understand why no one likes him.

If you take any action against this guys (legally sanctioned or not), unless she's willing to say it's over, you'll likely end up on the bad side of the situation.

 

Put some make up on him and slap him around. Let him know how it feels to be on the other side of it... But in the real world, you'd be just as guilty.

The best thing you can do to help her is help her get the strength to recognize the problem. Start this by documenting what happens. Down to the day, time, and location. Photographs if possible, if she dont want to risk keeping photos of herself hurt, then have her email them to you.

Domestic violence reoccurs so much because the penalties are so low to begin with, that the repeat offenders are right back out and scare them into submission even more.

She needs to start building a case good enough to put him away so she has no fear of him coming after her anymore.

Offering to store the data/document for/with her would be a great start.

 

Tall tree and a short rope!!! nuff said

 

we just went thru this with another girl.
she would not leave the guy, no matter what anyone said.


I PM'ed JWBM her contact info. i have no idea what state laws are in that area.

for those of you that don't know JWBM on a personal basis, she can be very forceful, friendly, coherent and persuasive.

i appreciate her help on this. i just don't know what to do.

IRT Aggie's post, i have seen this a few times, and the women never seem to want to leave, so there's no use my beating him up, and me risking jail time, and her still staying with him.

SHE has to change...not him.

and yes, his dad taught him, he will teach his son, and it continues.

pray for them, prayer changes things, that is all i know.

 

Guys that beat women need to be Euthanized. Sorry about being blunt like that but I was brought up to treat women right and with respect. No woman should have to go through what she is going through. She does need to contact her local police, thats the only way anything will be done.