I am here at work doing nothing(surprise) and got to thinking of all the things I do to my kids that I think are funny but they don't. Ok, I'll throw one of my favorites out and ya'll tell me if I'm crossing the good dad line or not. My kids fall for this everytime. Sometimes after I go "potty" and it's a good one, I will tell the kids it's bedtime and they need to brush their teeth. The whine about how they never get to stay up late, yada, yada, yada. Then they hit the wall of death. I think it's pretty funny but the wife does'nt like it and neither do they. Am I a bad dad????????

 

no...i prefer to crop dust in a room full of kids...walk thru as a silent one sneaks out...then wait for all the kids to start looking around and blaming each other

 

The wall of death. I try to get my wife with that, usually doesn't work though.

"Did you leave your curling iron on?"..........................shriek, cough, profanity.....

Kids would be much less suspicious, maybe we should get some. I'll wait til after deer season though.

 

If there is one thing I pride myself in more than my truck, it is a good My wife must really love me, 'cause I'm the master cover fluffer baby!!!
Now, if only these Dodge trucks had 'window locks' on the drivers controls, that would ROCK!!

 

i taught my oldest when he was about 3 years old, to wait until mom was in the shower, fill a squirt gun with ice water from the fridge, take all of the towels from the bathroom, and when she opened the curtain, to let her have it.
I would always get these irrate phone calls while at work.

 

last week in pops 04, 4 windows down doing 80mph on the highway and i made him gag in the passenger seat. thats a good concentration of foul air to remain in the cab that strong.

im also a fan of the dutch oven...let it fly in the bed and pull the covers over her head. dont ever do this within one week of a major CTD bomb purchase...or else the wife wont give you an allowance. thank god im still single tho, my gf cant tell me how to spend MY money...yet

 

You guys really didn't think a woman would be reading this did you?ROFLMAO

 

They counted on it...

 

I am so glad my new job here allows me the time to pursue noble discussions like this one while at work.

 

I figured you guys would.LOL. What if your wives were to do that to you? You would probably call her names up one side and down the other.LOL

 

My wife got mad at me when we were first married and grunted and pulled the covers over her head. I let a windy about one second later and she popped back out. I told her "that didn't last long!" I think she was more mad at me after she came out than she was when she went under! God bless her. The second best story we when I was brushing my teeth and she needed something out from under the sink. Perfect timing El Taco Bell! Talk about parting her hair!! I was in major trouble for weeks for that one. Ok, Cin, I'll quit being a nasty ol' guy. But I have more stories.......O master of the hot wind!

 

Remember, there are two types of fathers that pass gas in the truck with their family in tow:

1. Those roll down the window and excuse themselves.

2. Those that lock out the windows, turn up the heat and let it fester!!!

I have been using #2 for years. Ha.

I used to go to these wild game dinners. Eat some wild game, drink a few beers. Next day, I would be rank smelling. I cut one lose while standing outside my buddies truck when we were at his grandfather's place rabbit hunting. It floated into his truck and about gagged his 10 year old. It was one of those days that you can't stand yourself.

 

Your all making my sides hurt from laughing so hard!!! I know how it is I grew up with 3 brothers and they all bombarded me one day and held me down so they could sit and let it go. LOL

 

Good friend of mine had the uncanny ability to predict what his would smell like....amazing.

 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!