some body email this this thread to hollywood it could be the next big boxoffice smash

 

Meanwhile from the shadows,alerted by all the commotion,who should step forth but The beast known as THE SHREWANATOR (da da da dummn) SHREWNATOR morphed into a silvery slime ready to do battle with SHREWZILLA as Bark looked helplessly on...Stay tuned for our next installment of Alaska's Shrew War.(now a message from our sponsor,)

 

as these two evil shrew monsters were getting ready for battle ..the creature known as Cool Hand Shrew stood in the shadows waiting...ever so quietly waiting with the .44 in his right paw, a sawed off 12 bore in his left...he had a score to settle...the glimmer of a cigar lighting his face up under that stetson as he stood waiting ....waiting .....

 

But what about Bark?

 

Last I heard he was tied up.

 

I knew that's why you were raising them. So now he has a new name, Shrewest Gumph.

Hi there, here at Bark's Shmerkin Emporium you can find the fur of your dreams. We've got fat ones, skinny ones, ones for climbing rocks, tough ones, sissy ones, even ones with chicken pocks.....er..a spots...... yeah that's it, spots. OK, back to your regularly scheduled program.

How come you type so much better here?

 

I was thinking the same thing. It must be the Claude influence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cool Hand Shrew stepped out of the shadows.
With a Clint Eastwood cigar chomping grin and still holding the .44 and the 12 gauge in his front paws he reached out
with his rear paw to tear the duct tape off of Bark.

With a loud ripping noise, Bark yet again regretted his habit of sleeping in the nude.

Anticipating his freedom and the upcoming battle with Shrewzilla, Bark gave out a manly war cry and passed out.

When he woke up, he realized that he was alone, in the dark and covered with **** carpet fibers.
He marveled at his good fortune, thoroughly examined himself for injuries and was starting to go get some ice
when he noticed his wife, shotgun and wrist watch were all missing…….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He paused, albeit for only a second and immediately began sending out multimedia messages to everyone in his address book, even total strangers. The message was a graphic warning to all that knew him, how he slept and how he rolls. The message read simply.......






































PARTY at Bark's house!!!
(bring ice)

 

THEYare coming,in the distance faint mechanical rumblings can be heard,a fatigue clad stranger on a motorcycle sucking a beer,the used to be gimpy LEGGED individual in his M-151 with the floppy green beanie,the big RED TRUCKS and their steely eyed black booted cargo of LEGS,the walkers with their chainsaws burping and the noxious exhausts permeating the atmosphere, the leo's in their crusers,THEYall came for............
THE PAR TAYBARK and his wife waited and listened,waited and listened and then.......(a quick word from this installments sponsor and back to our substandard programming)

 

I told my shrink about this thread, now she needs therapy.

 

As Cool Hand Shrew watched the boys roll up he seemed to be deep in thought...suddenly he turned around climbed into his 1st Gen and took off...As bark watched him go... bark wondered where he was going....however the party was starting and he was host..About 20 mins later every one heard the sound of air horns,guitars and diesels... they all turned around to see Cool Hand Shrew heading up the drive He had Shooter Jennings,Hank lll and Kid Rock with their bands heading up the biggest convoy of beer trucks Miller,Coors,Bud there were all there...at that moment bark know the party had just begun...........

 

And than, as with any poorly written television show, there was a dream sequence..... So...
Bark once again woke up. He realized that he had only been dreaming. All that had happened was an illusion.
Yet why was he so sore. Why were there pieces of tape and **** carpet stuck to his body.
Why was his beer missing and thinking harder he wondered what had become of his wife.
Why won’t some Admin close this thread down before something terrible happens.

Bark than noticed an arrow made out of shrew droppings pointing out the bedroom door.
The trail led down the hallway, down the stairs, across the kitchen and into the bathroom.
They ended at the pantry door. Inside the pantry, he could see the faint outline of a hatch on the far wall that he had never noticed before.
He armed himself with a can of pork and beans and began pushing the hatch open….
~

 

Can't let this thread die so here are all my reasons why...

My friends come by and wonder, why?
The thread itself will never die.
so if its good for you to try...
Add another post even if its a lie.

The Shrew ain't dead and his name ain't Sam
His real name is Fred and his sisters name is Pam
Your contribution to this thread, I'm sure will be more then once read.

Bark is not the person he was, his entire body is covered in fuzz.
The dna shows shrew blood and genes. His change in life has caused many a scene.

 

Bark's dream as he lay in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpGEeneO-t0

was about his life in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgE-Oedaiyk

glad he never did http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4s...eature=related

And Wolfman Jack said listen to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b53UHWNGeE

 

Oooohhhh! The long version of Crimsom & Clover. Hadn't heard it in years. Thanks!

I am too embarrased by this thread to let any of my friends see it.