There, fixed it for ya.

Yeeze, you must REALLY be tired to miss a shot like that.

 

It's a trap! Remember in the movie I Am Legend the zombie thing moved the mannequin out into the street and set the trap for Will Smith? Be real careful.

 

I'm not telling you to juggle them, just light them and stick them in the tunnels.

You know, you could have just said democrat.

We're nuts? You started this crazy thread! BTW, did you enjoy the honeymoon?

 

They lied.
Cats don't mess with shrews. Shrew bites are very painful, and potentially fatal. They are actually venomous.

Cats will back away from their food dish and wait for the shrew to make his selection and go away. Shrews are extremely high strung, so this can take place 4 or 5 times a minute. I've watched it play out in the boiler room.

At least you aren't lonely.

 

Haven't seen anybody or any sign of anybody sense they labeled my computer desk a wile back. Guess they went to fight in the Persian (cat) wars.

 

I did enjoy myself but it sure wasnt no honeymoon.
Speaking of which, my Daughter and Son in-law have enjoyed 14 years of a great marriage.
About one minute before the birth of the kid (right when I was wisely leaving the room) she pointed at my Son in-law and said "YOU"! "This honeymoon is officially over"!

I must have been tired. Slept for almost 12 hours.



They made a mistake by letting me sleep last night. I am ready for them.

As cougar can tell you the good thing about our shrews is no venom (unlike your Northern Short-tail shrew). You can play with them (and cats do).
Years back our cat (wish we had one now) would line up shrew heads like trophys so we could view them when we woke up in the morning.

Time to go play in the snow.

 

Bark isn't moving snow, he's building an igloo on account the shrew population is so high, they forced him from his home.

 

So, how goes the battle there Bark?

 

Very good. Except for the dead shrew in the sink all is quiet in the house.
Used the Honda Shrew Shredder outside and didn't even find an extension cord.

Called the borough and they say they will have the road out to the highway cleared tomorrow so I will
be able to make a hasty retreat if they have actually been hiding and are waiting to attack in force.

Tried to talk my wife into barricading ourselves in the bedroom with my newly acquired stash of beer.
She wants to take her chances with the door open in case one of us needs to use the bathroom. She doesnt seem to worry about it as much as I do.

Im not going to tell her, but after she goes to sleep I am going to surround the bed with duct tape (sticky side up) to stop the little monsters.
I see nothing wrong with my plan.
~

 

Bark, think you may have this thing all wrong.

Why not start training them for fighting shrews?

Dogs or Roosters won't do, but what state official would POSSIBLY object to you having fighting shrews?

You could be the Mack Daddy of the USF circuit ( Ultimate Shrew Fighting ).

 

Im not going to tell her, but after she goes to sleep I am going to surround the bed with duct tape (sticky side up) to stop the little monsters.
I see nothing wrong with my plan.
~[/QUOTE]

And then......SHREWZILLA came out of the shadows,and slowly,stealthily,crept into the quiet unlit sleeping chamber,the nose twitching side to side attempting to pick up the slightest sign of danger. The nose did not detect anything unfamiliar,all was normal..gas vapors from the biped's gastrointestinal tract permeated the room along with the sound of a chainsaw at full rpm. Hark!......what is that off white sticky substance surrounding the impending meal?

 

Bark, do you have a funnel in your bedroom. Without one, to her an empty beer bottle in the bedroom is no different than any other empty, just something else to thump you in the head with. Think man, think! As far as the shrews go, I finally figured out why you don't get rid of them. You're raising them and profiting off their little hides.

 

The situation has escalated to duct tape?
Thats not a good sign.

Shrewtons LAW shall prevail.

 

It's worse than you think! Scott's in the breakroom showing Eric pictures of sheep that look like ink spots.

 

Be my luck to wind up as the Michael Vick of Shrew fighting. Being an ex LEO I would have to be put in segregation along with the salmon molesters.

It only takes eight to make a merkin (four if its cold).

Sensing the danger, the sound of the chainsaw stopped and Bark became instantly fully awake.
Using his prior Navy Muskrat training he leaped out of bed grabbing for the shotgun he had ready for just such an emergency.
Unfortunatly he became entangled in duct tape and fell to the floor.
Rolling frantically the mass of tape became thick with the fibers of the orange 1970's era **** carpet.

Bark now looked like a large caterpillar, Shrewzilla snarled in anger and confusion and Barks wife screamed "I told you we needed new carpet"

Barks muffled voice could be heard saying Get dumph snot gumph........
~
~