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A non-offending, polically correct wish for the holidays

Old Dec 19, 2005 | 06:43 PM
  #1  
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A non-offending, polically correct wish for the holidays

With the holidays upon us, please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, on behalf of the wisher or wishee, our best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice, practiced within the traditions and/or within the religious or secular belief(s) of your choice and with respect for the traditions and/or religious or secular beliefs of others or for their choice to not practice traditions and/or religious or secular beliefs at all; and for a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of what is generally accepted as the new Gregorian calendar year, but with due respect for calendars of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great*, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, sexual orientation, political affiliation, or choice of computer operating system of the wisher.



*DISCLAIMER

By accepting this greeting you are accepting the terms of the greeting and all responsibility associated with it. This greeting is subject to clarification and/or revocation at any time at the discretion of the wisher. This greeting is non-transferable without the express written consent of the wisher. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/herself or for others. This greeting is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this greeting or issuance of a new greeting at the sole discretion of the wisher, who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress this greeting may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

By accepting this greeting you agree to subscribe to annual updates at a cost completely arbitrary to the wisher at the time of renewal. Failure to subscribe - in effect, failure to renew this greeting - will result in forfeiture of the original greeting, loss of your parents' homes, euthanasia for your and your neighbors' pets, and prosecution in a kangaroo court of law comprised of the wisher's closest friends and paid business associates, convened by the wisher at a location deemed most inconvenient to you. Reading of this disclaimer constitutes your acceptance of the greeting. This disclaimer supersedes all local, state and federal laws previously enacted to prevent such disclaimers from superseding all local, state and federal laws.


Oh the heck with political correct-ness...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

chaikwa.
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 06:47 PM
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Funny but sad at the same time.
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 07:24 PM
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I order for it to be truely Non-Offensive and Politically Correct, shouldn't it also be posted in Spanish, French, Italian, Japanese, Swahili, Portugese, German, Swedish, Klingon ................et al
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 07:25 PM
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Merry Christmas right back at ya!
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 07:43 PM
  #5  
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Originally Posted by mikmaze
Merry Christmas right back at ya!
What gives you or chaikwa the right to tell anyone how to spend their Christmas? Who knows, said person may not wish to have a merry Christmas and now you have the gall to tell them to enjoy themselves. Does not sound very politically correct to me.







However, as chaikwas said, to heck with being correct, have a merry Christmas and may God bless each and every one of you. (bet that offends someone)
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Mexstan
...have a merry Christmas and may God bless each and every one of you. (bet that offends someone)
Thank you!

And yes Shovel, it would be in Spanish, French, Italian, Japanese, Swahili, Portugese, German, Swedish, Klingon etc., if I KNEW any of those languages!

chaikwa.
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 08:48 PM
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I don't care who I offend by saying this MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone.
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Old Dec 19, 2005 | 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted by chaikwa
Oh the heck with political correct-ness...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

chaikwa.
00100010010011110110100000100000011101000110100001 10010100100000011010000110010101100011011010110010 00000111011101101001011101000110100000100000011100 00011011110110110001101001011101000110100101100011 01100001011011000010000001100011011011110111001001 11001001100101011000110111010000101101011011100110 01010111001101110011001011100010111000101110001000 00000011010000101000001101000010100100110101000101 01010010010100100101100100100000010000110100100001 01001001001001010100110101010001001101010000010101 00110010000001000101010101100100010101010010010110 01010011110100111001000101001000010010001000001101 00001010000011010000101001010100010010000100000101 00111001001011001000000101100101001111010101010010 00000110000101101110011001000010000001110100011010 00011001010010000001110011011000010110110101100101 00100000011101000110111100100000011000010110110001 10110000100000011000010111010000100000010001000101 010001010010001011100000110100001010
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Old Dec 20, 2005 | 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by 12valve@heart
00100010010011110110100000100000011101000110100001 10010100100000011010000110010101100011011010110010 00000111011101101001011101000110100000100000011100 00011011110110110001101001011101000110100101100011 01100001011011000010000001100011011011110111001001 11001001100101011000110111010000101101011011100110 01010111001101110011001011100010111000101110001000 00000011010000101000001101000010100100110101000101 01010010010100100101100100100000010000110100100001 01001001001001010100110101010001001101010000010101 00110010000001000101010101100100010101010010010110 01010011110100111001000101001000010010001000001101 00001010000011010000101001010100010010000100000101 00111001001011001000000101100101001111010101010010 00000110000101101110011001000010000001110100011010 00011001010010000001110011011000010110110101100101 00100000011101000110111100100000011000010110110001 10110000100000011000010111010000100000010001000101 010001010010001011100000110100001010

"Oh the heck with political correct-ness...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!"

THANK YOU and the same to all at DTR.


0100010001001001010101000101010001001111
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Old Dec 20, 2005 | 09:25 AM
  #10  
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From: INWOOD, West 'BY GOD' Virginia
Originally Posted by 12valve@heart
00100010010011110110100000100000011101000110100001 10010100100000011010000110010101100011011010110010 00000111011101101001011101000110100000100000011100 00011011110110110001101001011101000110100101100011 01100001011011000010000001100011011011110111001001 11001001100101011000110111010000101101011011100110 01010111001101110011001011100010111000101110001000 00000011010000101000001101000010100100110101000101 01010010010100100101100100100000010000110100100001 01001001001001010100110101010001001101010000010101 00110010000001000101010101100100010101010010010110 01010011110100111001000101001000010010001000001101 00001010000011010000101001010100010010000100000101 00111001001011001000000101100101001111010101010010 00000110000101101110011001000010000001110100011010 00011001010010000001110011011000010110110101100101 00100000011101000110111100100000011000010110110001 10110000100000011000010111010000100000010001000101 010001010010001011100000110100001010

Now thats perfect- everyone understands binary right?

Happy Christmas Everyone- I have to be different

Michael
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Old Dec 20, 2005 | 04:23 PM
  #11  
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Happy Ramahannukwanzmas!
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Old Dec 20, 2005 | 04:38 PM
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I'm offended that you are trying NOT to offend anyone!
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Old Dec 20, 2005 | 04:38 PM
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Merry Christmas you guys! (Politicians and otherwise- )
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Old Dec 21, 2005 | 07:33 AM
  #14  
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The 12 Days of Christmas
(For the politically correct)

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave
to
me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a
note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping, NINE persons engaged in rhythmic
self-expression, EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons
stealing milk- products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, SEVEN
endangered
swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, SIX enslaved
Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products, FIVE golden
symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE
after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red
paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have
been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further
Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
revised.) FOUR hours of recorded whale songs THREE deconstructionist
poets TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear
tree.
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Old Dec 21, 2005 | 08:07 AM
  #15  
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Originally Posted by Geico266
I'm offended that you are trying NOT to offend anyone!
I'M offended that YOU'RE offended by me trying NOT to offend anyone.

So there!

chaikwa.
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