crobtex

Oil Shortage
There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we
came to have an oil shortage here in America.
Well, there's a very simple answer -- nobody bothered
to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason
for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in
Alaska, Texas, California and Oklahoma.
All of our dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.

Kids!
Two little boys are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out, and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"
The second kid then asks, "What are you in for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year!"

papaduck

made my day!

crobtex

George and Bill



THIS JOKE HAS GOT TO BE NOMINATED FOR JOKE OF THE YEAR!

George W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave. Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."

The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?"
Bush replied, "Go ahead, my wife has no idea what the inside of a whorehouse smells like".

rjordan

dodgeman01

thats a good one.
DM01

AlpineRAM

On Clinton's last trip to Hawaii, he went swimming at Waikiki Beach. He got caught in a riptide and was been pulled out to sea. Three young surfers swam out to him and brought him to shore. He wanted to reward them, and asked what they would like. The first said he wanted to be a fighter pilot, and Clinton said he would get him an appointment to the A. F. Academy. The second one said he wanted to command a submarine. "Fine, I'll get you into the Naval Academy." The third said he wanted to be buried at Arlington. Clinton looked puzzled and asked why such a young person was concerned about where he would be buried. "Because", said the surfer, "my father is a Vietnam Veteran, and when I go home and tell him I saved your life, he's going to kill me."

crobtex

crobtex

This has got to be one of the most clever E-Mails ever seen. Someone out
there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till
you see the last one!!!)

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And for the grand finale:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When
you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter
only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS