How do these people survive?

Idiot#1- Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

Idiot#2- I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

Idiot#3- A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

Idiot#4- I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Idiot#5- Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

Idiot#6- I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

Idiot#7- My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problem s with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

Idiot#8- Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Idiot#9- A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

 

unfortunately, st00pidity is a common trait of human (I tried for years to convience everyone Im not a member). But Humans are also a rather tough species.

 

I know the feeling OH SO WELL.

The local DoDgE BoYz priced a rear main seal for a 5.9 for $18.67......
I said "I'll take them ALL" when they dug them out they were about
half the size. I told them they were way too small, he looked at the computer
screen and said that was what it called for. I told them Cummins never made a
rear seal that small. He said "you ask for a rear seal for a 5.9 this is it"..........

I had to leave....... my gun was in the truck.

 

Nice of em to make the v8 and Cummins a 5.9. Til the mini Hemi.

 

please stop! your're killing me

 

last weekend on my way out of town i stopped at McDonalds, i went thru the drive thru, ordered, i knew something was up, the girl seemed confused and didnt tell me the price, when i drove up to the window i seen her writing on a piece of paper, i figured the puters were out. when she opened the window, she confirmed they were having computer problems, she told me it would be $3.17, i handed he $4. i watched as she stared at those four one dollar bills and the cash register, after about thirty seconds she had to call the manager over, SHE COULD NOT MAKE CHANGE!!! i bet she never thought that math was important.....after leaving the parking lot, i called my daughters on my cell phone and told them this story, and reminded them how important school is.

 

I think I used to work with her....

should have tossed her $.02 and really had a laff. That would have probably gotten the manager confused too...

When I worked at a convience store, the register had an exact cash button. I got in trouble for using it all the time.

 

What really throws them is if the bill is something like $6.37 and you give them $11.37 expecting to get a five back. I usually have to explain it to them.

 

been there, done that! especially funny when you give them the $0.37 after they hit the buttons on the register.

America's problem could be solved with a law against stupidity and training in common sense!

I have been in Minnesota lately interviewing for jobs. I ended up getting stuck in a mess of black ice in southern MN (this was the night before they recieved 2 feet of snow). As cars are littering the ditches after hitting the black ice, people still insist on driving the posted 70mph. Everyone around here is in such a hurry, they dont bother thinking about the safety of themselves, their children, or anyone else's children!

A friend of mine from Wyoming was going through a mountain pass in California and watched people jacked up their vehicles to put tire chains on. What more can you say?


Pat

 

They survive

By finding some other genius to take care of them the rest of their lives.... If the girls are hott, there will be a genius that will take them.. i have learned that from expierience, and learned not to go by looks... yes we are stubborn and it is said that the human male is the only species to stumble over the same rock twice.. if so what can we say bout gals?

Tx

 

The California passes have guys who set up shop at the chain installation areas when chains are required. In fact they have a state lottery to limit the number of people allowed to do it. Most all of these professional chain installers jack up the vehicle because it's faster. Friend of mine from Reno used to do it, made over $5000 at $25 per vehicle on a good day.

 

I bet he claimed all that cash money on his 1040 form too.

 

I always found jacking up a vehicle let you put the chain on easier and get it a little snugger.

 

I took my son thru a Mac's and he ordered his meal. It came to $4.67 .
I handed the girl a $10.00, She gave me .33 and 3 $5.00's. I looked at it and said " too much change." She said no it's right!! Manager came up and said no thats right!!
Son, then says " quick dad go get in line again".
We still laugh about it.
I bet the schools taugh her about sex. But didn't care if she knew money.

 

Interesting article about California's 'chain monkeys'
http://216.239.63.104/search?q=cache...3073.shtml+%22