nervous as a long tail cat in a rockin' chair factory

He/She's so ugly she'd scare 9 pennies out of a dime

Ugly as a mud fence

busy as a one leg cat trying to bury a turd in a concrete sandbox

I feel like I've been beatin like a rented mule

hotter than a fresh screwed fox in a forrest fire( screwed is actually....you know)

hotter than two rats getting it on in a wool sock(getting it on is actually something else)

slicker than snot on a pump handle

hotter than a well diggers butt

drill instructor hands recruit a rock and says, "hey I think you dropped your military i.d card."

"looks like they welded that with a dirt dobber taped to the rod" Technically known as a "dirt dobber weld". I'd have to look for the welding symbol, probably in the farm code book somewhere.

That's about all I can think off right now, met lots of folks out here in the sticks in TN and they come up with some loulou's!!

 

Figured I would use one or two more today,

when asked how your doing, reply,

"hangin' in there like a hair in a bisquit"

 

if your gonna be dumb, you better be tough...

if your still movin' ya aint stuck... (in regards to muddin)

 

1. "Its as usless as Chicken poo on a pump handle"
2. "Its so gutless, it could'nt pull a greasy string out of a cats butt"
3. "Nuttier than squirrel poo".
4. "The oil is in Texas, but the dipsticks are in Washington DC".
Doug

 

Every snowflake pleads "Not Guilty" after an avalanch !!

Cheers,
PISTOL

 

Hotter than the hubs of hell

 

rare as chicken lips

 

Crazier than an outhouse rat.

 

Worthless as **** on a bore hog
Your father must have used a flower pot because you are a blooming idiot

 

Wake up you ain't ever seen a wreck like we are about to have.

 

Don' let the doorknob hitcha where the dawg bit cha!

 

sexy as socks on a rooster

 

Well, that was stupid.

I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean it.

Yes, Dear.

 

like the monkey said after he got his tail caught in the lawn mower..it wont be long now

 

And when he peed in the cash register he said "This is going to run into money."