It doesn't have to be perfect, just better than it was... (sometimes)

 

the bigger they are............the faster you run
DM01

 

"Don't wiz on my leg and tell me it raining"

"Do I have stupid tatood on my forehead?"

"I hate humans!"

For falling off the motorcycle, I like the line "I meant to do that".

"If you can't be handsome, then you might as well be handy"

"Common sense isn't so common"

Kevin

 

There are very few personal problems that can not be solved by the suitable application of high explosives!

You’re twisted, perverted and sick:
I like that in a person….

I don’t know, I don’t care and it really doesn’t make any difference.

 

"What part of no did you not understand?" Whoops I typo'd that no for a know at first. hmmmm

"You are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."

I heard those from dear ole dad a few times. He was such a nice man.

 

"you are as useless as an ejector seat on a helicopter!"

"Its hard to soar like an eagle when you work with a bunch of turkeys!"

 

"The only difference between this place (work) and the Titanic is they had a band"

"Good, Fast, Cheap. Pick any two"

"Pigs are gassed up and ready to fly!"

 

"Eagles may soar, but Weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!"

 

I don't see what the problem is.....It's only flat on the bottom

 

From Dear Old Granny (93 years old):

"I'm so deaf I can't even hear myself fart"

DW

 

even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.

 

And another from my dear old Dad, said from his office chair at our family owned trucking company when all of us would be sittin around the office, loafing, etc...

"Well hell...why don't we just cancel today for lack of interest..."

God we'd laugh at that...hes been gone 18 yrs now..was full of these words of wisdom.

 

the apple doesnt fall far from the tree

 

I forgot a good one -

When Life throwes you Lemons - throw them back with some Lemons of your own!

 

How about sign on the front lawn at work
If Butt heads could fly we would have to register this place with the FAA
OR
The older I get the faster I was