like the subject line says, ya ever feel like just moving away to get away for awhile and get life back in order? My life isnt bad at all not by anymeans, ive never been in trouble w/ the law, i dont have any drug problems, im doing ok financially, my girlfriend puts up w/ me. My extended family is great my brother and sister and i are really tight, its just that my father and i arent seeing eye to eye on matters, which doesnt make sense because i dont live w/ him or his wife, my mom passed away years ago he got remaried. It just seems like every since he got remarried hes changed. Im a product of oilfield trash, my dad hauls crude oil and growing up he worked long hours and often times my mom would be the one laying the law down so to speak if we, my brother myself and sister, were cutting up. Ofcourse my father was there he provided for us financially, and we had what we needed and then some, sometimes w/ oilfield work it slows down, so when it was like that we had time to hang out for a bit and do family stuff. He showed us how to wrench on cars and trucks, he built the family house w/ his own two hands ofcourse w/ the help of some family memebers. My brother and i dug the beams and tied the steel for the foundation of the house. Fast fwd 10 plus years my mom starts to get sick and she ends up dieing durring heart surgery, at this time im already working on the road, im an electrician and we work out of state alot. Things start changing at the house after my mom passes away, my father starts to push us kids away, ofcourse were now all legal age, my sister is married and her husband was in iraq she left tennessee to come back home to help a little around the house, my brother is an electrician also is working locally...but little by little my father starts to push my brother away. My brother is a really great guy hell give you the shirt off his back easy to converse w/ and is content w/ what he has. I myself im a little more reserved Im always setting goals and trying to reach them im the go getter type thats why i work so much, my sister got married at a young age she had her son at a young age and her husband to support the family joins up w/ the army and does his thing at first they struggled but they get onthere feet and make a life of there own, my brotherinlaw gets deployed and my sister see's my dad hurting emotionally because of his wife, our mom dieing. I myself deal with things differently i went back on the road to keep my mind busy. A few months go by and my father decides to start dating, which doesnt bother me one bit at all im glad he wanted to get out and find himself a companion......He finds a gal that he seems to get along w/ wich is fine...he announces a few weeks later that hes getting married..... with that said he turns on my brother and he becomes the whipping boy to speak and suggests that my sister move back to tennessee, Im stuck like chuck because im rarely home. My father hints towards me that i need to move out which hurt quit a bit, Im literally gone away from my house 8-9months out of the year. My uncle and aunt that ive been really close w/ let me get my mail there and when i have my off time i spend it down there. While all this is happening myself my brother and sister draw closer to eacher because we now know where our relationship with our father stands, my father remarries he doesnt bother telling myself, or my brother, he called my sister after she moved back to tennessee . Ever since all this has happened it just seems like my father has tryed to distances himself from his kids, were all grown ups...im 27 my brother is 31 my sister is 23. In all honesty i really do believe that the woman my father married has put alot of things into his head, the house he built is now being sold, he sold her vehicle and bought her a newer suburban. For me i really do think shes got other motives, othe then being his new wife/comanion. I just dont want my dad to get a fast one pulled on him. We rarely speak and when we do its when hes working he wont answer my calls or makes the conversation real brief when shes around. I cant say that i really know the gal my dad married but im not getting a good vibe from it at all. so with all that said..........am i crazy for wanting to pack my bags gather my tools and move to some other place and just start over?....opinions please

 

From what you describe, the best thing to do is move. First get a place to move to then tell your dad, brother & sister and just do it. I don't know the area you are but a storage garage for your tools and stuff and rent an apartment a month or two till things settle out. From there you figure out where you want to go. Eventually buy land or a house. Good luck.

 

Mark, I think you should pack up and leave, i really do. You are grown up and well off enough to change your status, and there are many good ppl out there that display father figure roles every day. I have older friends that are like dads to me, treat me as their own even when their kids aren't around. I work hard for that, I know how hard it can be. My dad is deaf/mute and we have never got along all that great. He doesn't comprehend tough issues I face, and it makes us butt heads because the info he tries to give me just isn't viable. My dad is a real quiet person, all I have to do is look at him and I'll know what train of thought hes thinking. I love my dad to death, so I put our differences aside, but I understand how difficult this can be for you. If I didn't have the ranch and land to pay taxes on I'd be gone in a heartbeat just like you are thinking.

Mark know that you're always welcome here if you need a place to rest or talk....I lost my cellphone a few months back so i lost your number but if you want to text me or Pm me your number again no problem...

Patrick

 

Sounds like its time to move on.

 

yea i agrre its time to move had similar issues with my mother moved on got married and have a great set of inlaws for family now

 

i appreciate all the responses, thanks rick it means alot, ive already moved out for sometimes now, i guess its like i wouldnt mind just getting a map putting it on a wall and throwing a dart at at it and where ever it lands i head to, crazy i know lol

 

Utah, Tennessee, Idaho are all nice.

 

First people I'd consult would be your aunt and uncle. They already support you emotionally and appreciate your company. Ask them what they think and what their thoughts are on resolving the situation. If you only need living quarters a few months a year, they may have some ideas there also. Perhaps rent a room, who knows. You're on the right path. Find your own niche, give them space, keep in contact with them as they allow and there will probably be a time where your father comes back to you with an apology. He sees what is happening with the woman, he just can't control her controlling him---so you're the odd one out for now.

 

sorry to hear about your situation but i think if it were me id go to your dad tell him how you feel and if he acts the same after that then id stick with your plan of moving on

 

Its a big world, go out and see what's out there.