SoOpidity Awards!
05-27-2005, 11:44 PM
#1
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SoOpidity Awards!
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
winners:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked....
And now, the honourable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked
how he received the injuries, he told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
before
he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,
and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a. m., flashed a
gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
winners:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked....
And now, the honourable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked
how he received the injuries, he told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
before
he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,
and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a. m., flashed a
gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had
05-28-2005, 08:40 AM
#5
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OK, I gotta point out that if you're gonna call people on their stupidity, titling your post "SoOpidity Awards" is either a good irony or makes you a candidate for placement on the list (all in good fun!).
I recommend "stupidity" or, if you must use AOL/phonetics spelling, "stoopidity".
I recommend "stupidity" or, if you must use AOL/phonetics spelling, "stoopidity".
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05-28-2005, 03:48 PM
#9
Originally posted by joel
OK, I gotta point out that if you're gonna call people on their stupidity, titling your post "SoOpidity Awards" is either a good irony or makes you a candidate for placement on the list (all in good fun!).
I recommend "stupidity" or, if you must use AOL/phonetics spelling, "stoopidity".
OK, I gotta point out that if you're gonna call people on their stupidity, titling your post "SoOpidity Awards" is either a good irony or makes you a candidate for placement on the list (all in good fun!).
I recommend "stupidity" or, if you must use AOL/phonetics spelling, "stoopidity".
05-29-2005, 10:11 AM
#11
I was banned per my own request for speaking the name Pelosi
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The driver in #4 is my hero...... somebody else can snope, I know some won't be able to sleep til they do.
05-29-2005, 11:12 AM
#12
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Originally posted by Redleg
The driver in #4 is my hero...... somebody else can snope, I know some won't be able to sleep til they do.
The driver in #4 is my hero...... somebody else can snope, I know some won't be able to sleep til they do.
05-29-2005, 05:52 PM
#13
Administrator
#10 seems too far fetched to me. I have never ever seen an access fitting on a black water tank that resembled a gas filler neck. The only black water tank access is the toilet inside the RV and the gravity drain on the outside.
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