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Select your branch of service wisely

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Old 11-12-2002, 09:30 PM
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Select your branch of service wisely

This was sent to me by a very good friend, also one of those fine and upstanding vets. A little late for 11/11 but it's never too late for some of us. <br><br>Select Your Branch of Service Wisely <br>In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training.<br>HAIRCUTS <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Heads will be shaved. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: Stylish flat-tops for all recruits. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: No haircut standard. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show. <br>TRAINING HOURS <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500. <br>MEALS <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: 3 hot meals. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat. <br>LEAVE and LIBERTY..... <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: None. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: 4 hours a week. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: 2 days a week. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty. <br>PROTOCOL..... <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Will address all officers as &quot;Sir,&quot; and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith). <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: Will address all officers as &quot;Sir,&quot; unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel &quot;Sarge.&quot; <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: Will address all officers as &quot;Skipper,&quot; and all enlisted personnel as &quot;Chief.&quot; <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other. <br>DECORATIONS and AWARDS..... <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed and bed made. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway. <br>CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS..... <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.) <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them. <br>CAREER FIELDS..... <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway. <br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs. <br><br><br>As a retired Air Force member, I resemble that. ;D ;D<br><br>~Dave<br>
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Old 11-12-2002, 10:53 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

Careful there troopie. We know things that could make life interesting. Next time you call for air cover, just remember what you said about ol' Dave.
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Old 11-12-2002, 11:13 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

Dave, the Air Force shortchanged me on Leave and Liberty for training completed. I must now write my congressman for retroactive leave pay plus interest. <br><br>Jerry
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Old 11-13-2002, 06:55 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

[quote ]REMF!!!!!!!!! <br>
<br><br>ROTFLMAO :'( :'(<br><br>Napalm with that, Mr. Gonzo?
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Old 11-13-2002, 09:54 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

That is cute Dave! Where is my bed making medal at?
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Old 11-13-2002, 11:09 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

Interesting .. but why was the fifth service left out? We are on the front lines 24/7/365
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Old 11-13-2002, 07:47 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

Ate on an Air Base once. Thought we were gonna get kicked off when we carried our own trays to the kitchen. Boy did WE get some looks.
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Old 11-13-2002, 08:09 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them. <br><br>Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs. <br><br>I've spent the last 13 years as a contractor on an &quot;Air Base&quot;<br>The above two are &quot;Spot-On&quot; <br><br>Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat. <br>This one ?<br>Most of our &quot;Wing-Nuts&quot; eat at the Navy Chow Hall 'cuz the food is better and the prices are cheaper.<br>
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Old 11-13-2002, 08:46 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

[quote author=Rammin On link=board=10;threadid=6978;start=0#66282 date=1037207348]<br>Interesting .. but why was the fifth service left out? We are on the front lines 24/7/365 <br>[/quote]<br>I apologize for the lack of inclusion, however, I'm not the author. I just pass along the humor. I have some very interesting tales of Vietnam and the fine Coast Guardsmen we encountered. You guys worked closer inshore than us, really earning the rep. As you may note, the author was/is part of the globe and anchor bunch and they just think the rest of us are there to support them, right TOP??<br><br>~Dave
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Old 11-13-2002, 09:44 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

I'm with Rammin On, why are we coasties always left out, we have feelings to ;D The airdales seem to have it nice no matter what branch of the service the are in.
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Old 11-13-2002, 10:20 PM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

I was about rolling on the floor laughing so hard. <br> I retired with 21 years in the Corps. 8) 8) <br>See Ya<br>Chris<br>
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Old 11-14-2002, 05:19 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

[quote author=Rammin On link=board=10;threadid=6978;start=0#66282 date=1037207348]<br>Interesting .. but why was the fifth service left out? We are on the front lines 24/7/365 <br>[/quote]<br><br>Tell him, Rammin on. I think I'll do an inter service transfer.
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Old 11-14-2002, 06:34 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

The &quot;Shallow Water Sailors&quot; tend to be forgotten too many times. A lot of folks don't know that the Coast Guard did the majority of riverine operations in Vietnam until such time that the Navy could get trained up. The Navy pretty much forgot about shallow water ops after the old gunboats left China just prior to WW2.<br>I know a bunch of guys that would probably have their name on the wall in DC if it hadn't been for the training the &quot;Coasties&quot; gave us.<br>Thanks guys, for doing a great job.<br><br>A Survivor
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Old 11-14-2002, 07:15 AM
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Re:Select your branch of service wisely

[quote author=shortround link=board=10;threadid=6978;start=0#66646 date=1037277248]<br>The &quot;Shallow Water Sailors&quot; tend to be forgotten too many times. A lot of folks don't know that the Coast Guard did the majority of riverine operations in Vietnam until such time that the Navy could get trained up. The Navy pretty much forgot about shallow water ops after the old gunboats left China just prior to WW2.<br>I know a bunch of guys that would probably have their name on the wall in DC if it hadn't been for the training the &quot;Coasties&quot; gave us.<br>Thanks guys, for doing a great job.<br><br>A Survivor<br>[/quote]<br><br>Amen. That's one of many truths.
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