MYTRNx3

Some of these at least gave me a morning smile...



Two peanuts walk into a bar One was 'a salted'.


A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."


A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."



Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.



Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"



Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"


A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."



Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."



Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before.



I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.



I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'he wouldn't bet because the steaks were too high.'



My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.



What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.


Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam."