Well this is about the only place that I can put my feelings on the table.
The people of this forum are like a big family and it is easy to relate feelings and so on because 80% of you never met, never will, never saw each other, don't know each other personally, ect ect.

It is hard for me to admit when I need help, or when I'm in a bind, espically to people one on one.

Anyways I suffer from GERD, gallbladder only works 14%, and a few other heres and theres w/ medical problems. I have real severe nausea in the mornings and I reflux an average of every 5mins on a 24 hour basis.
I went what is called "Home-bound" in 6th grade due to my nausea and being absent at school. Home bound is where the school offers a teacher to come teach you at your house.
At first this what not an issue to me, I thought it was neat, get to sleep in everyday, do what I want, ect. But this quickly grew old as I was out of the social scene as I could not drive anywhere and do stuff.
After I completed my 6th grade year I tried every year after that to return to school only being successful my 9th grade year (Even then I missed 70 days of school).
It feels like I have failed myself, my family and friends. But I know my family does not look at my differntly, as so with my true friends. But the feeling of letting YOURSELF down, and FAILING yourself is a hard feeling to comprehend.

Now I sit here my senior year, I attended the first week of school and I haven't been there since then. I am not only blaming my absence on just my medical issues but it is like a social shock to me. Imagine being out of the school system for 6.5 years, failing every year to get back in, then having to face the same thing again? It is hard to go from being taught 2-3 times a week to go from 7:18-2:29 in school 5 days a week for 9 months.

My mom has made everything possiable for me to go to try school every chance I've wanted to and the school has done everything possiable to accomodate me. Theres a lot of people that are working to get me in school, and thats just a lot more people that I would be letting down (in my mind)

Now for the decision. I know that if I go home-bound that I would like to return to school after winter, or around march. I know if I go home-bound my grades would exceed those of being in school, and that I would be a lot more happier and settled. Or do I try to stick it out in school? What if I get so far behind? What if I get D's and C's when I could be getting B's and A's? What if I miss to many days and I am oppted from graduating?
If I go home-bound I am still part of the school system, aloud to do any school activity, I can still walk the isle, ect.

I am 17 turning 18 so I have the means to still be in the social click, ect.
It is just hard because 90% of the kids in my school think I enjoy this, think I get special treatment, think that I am just a waste, ect.
And it hurts because there are kids who go to school until 4th pd and then go get high..? I mean c'mon...

I just basically wanna know that I am not stupid, or illogical for thinking the way I am thinking.
I am pretty positive I will go home-bound until the end of winter, or so on...

It is like switching time-zones on someone, it is a big change.. and its hard to addapt...

 

Do what feels right for you in this circumstance, remember your health and education are what really matters here Don't even waste time worrying what your peers think about your situation.

We don't choose our physical shells or the problems that may or may not arise in the way of health issues. The ONLY thing we can do is make the best out of what we have, and only you know what works best for you in that regard.

Best of luck in whatever you decide, I know you will do the right thing Sounds like you have a tough time of things, but at the same time...you are a lot better off then many others out there, with worse health issues.

Be strong, keep your head up and just keep banging away at life as hard as you can...You can't help but succeed as long as you keep trying

 

the social skills to be had in public schools are hard to replace. but on the other hand high school can be a very cruel place unless you are in the "in crowd" its been years since i have been in school, but i definately couldve been more accepting to some of the other guys in my school but since they wernt in our click we never game them a chance...my graduating class was over 550 so there was lots of people in the school...greater than 2k

but on the other hand, the new guys that came to school and were outgoing and wanted to be our friends we would accept them as long as they were what we considered "cool"

as long as your outgoing, friendly and socialable, you should be fine! you need to be sure that you can carry yourself with confidence and being a little cocky never hurt. im one of the most cocky people i know, and people either love me or are jealous of me...j/k

when you walk into a room command attention..not the negative kind, but the kind that warms a room. people will notice if you a comfortable being yourself even though you have been outta tradiontal style of school for several years. im sure i got way off topic but these are some of the things i did when i went thru h.s. and i had a blast...dont be scared to be the wild one too!

i dont know how you are with girls, but dont pick the prettiest one up first...start on a so-so girl and build your game a little...its all how you can talk to them...they can tell if your nervous or scared and thats not a turn on. dont get all worked up over them too..just play it cool and act like your doing them a favor by hanging out with them.

finally...have "relationtionships" with as many girls as you can. this will further increase your confidence and skill. it is also ok to lie to prospective "nice/quality" girl about your past relationships. i like the rule of 8. take you number of past gfs, divide it by 8 or 3 or whatever gets your past numbers to less than 10 and stick with it. i learned this one the hard way

hope some of this helped!

brett

 

you are almost done with school. more than likely you have a few really good friends, and they will continue to be your friends for years to come. it is unlikely that you will associate with many of the students in your class once you graduate and move on in life.
if you were just now entering say 8th grade instead of 12th then there is more to consider, like your social development.

hope things work out for you.

 

Thank you all for the prompt responses.

I have been in a relationship w/ a gal for over a year.. its been on and off at times, but she is now recently attending my school and I too wanted to be there to see here.

The whole social aspect doesn't bother me to bad. As I can still go into the school when I would like, attend dances, attend sport games, and stuff like that. I would like to think that I am more mature than my peers due to the adult medical problems I've been dealing w/ since I was born.

And you are correct, only a handful of kids will I associate w/ from HS.
It is a hard thing for me to discuss because it feels like I have failed myself, among many others.
And I drill myself hard. I know that I could be in school, they modified my schedule so I come in 5th pd and stay until 9th. But that is not the problem, it is just so hard and I hope that some of you can imagine how hard it would be to adapt.
I am NOT happy there, it is not just my physical health, but my mental health too. I do not like showing that I am weak, nor do I like quitting/giving up at things.
I am honestly thinking about going home-bound and getting all the little credits out of the way and then returning after winter.. That way I will not be stressed out nearly as much.
These are such big decisions, and it is harder now because these decisions are the decisions that decide weather I graduate or not.

I get along w/ everyone in school, 95% of the kids like me in the HS, I still go to their place and kick it w/ them, hang out, go swimmin, go to the mall w/ them.. they are used to me not being in school, my group of friends that is.

Its just hard because I question myself, second guess myself, and it hurts thinking that you have failed yourself.
I just KNOW that if I go home-bound, not for the whole year but for now I will excel in my grades (which will help me in the long run) I will not be worried, or stressed about getting caught up, or getting behind, or any of that mumbo jumbo it would be a lot eaiser on myself..

Thank you all again, you can keep it coming in!

 

I had aton of freinds in high school and I only hang with one of them as of today and I am 24, all the others I dont relate to anymore mostly because I live in area where a beer is like the end of the world. A few people have told me when it is all said and done you will be able to count your true freinds on one hand and the further I get the more I believe, lean on your family that is what counts and remember you cant control what others say or think so dont pay attention just use there critisism as motivation.

Make your decisions and turn each decision into something positive and move forward, and if you really feel like you have failed yourself which you probably havent than do whatever it takes to not fill that way it is that simple.

 

you must be in mormonville! (nothing bad, i saw a girl that was mormon once and its deffinately a different lifestyle) but no beer, r-rated movies, sodas...its just not for me!

and im like JD...high school is temporary. i think i maybe talk to one or two guys from back in the day.

if you think its best to home school until the winter then do it! the last semester is usually the most fun anyways. besides if your grades are better at home, then that will help you get into a college easier!

brett

 

High School at that age seems like the most important thing and it is important but not as much as people think, I am like you dont ever really open up but when I was in high school my soph and jun year where horrible got made fun off girls where not even a thought. I was late to mature and than it seemed like everything happened over night but I remembered how it was and how people treated me and now those people are so far away from me it is laughable now. I was always so terrified of failing seriously terrified and it wasent very long ago after I have had a little success that I realized that the people that are afraid of failure are the ones that truely succed.

 

Your grades are the most important. They will follow you long after you leave high school and you need them to move forward with the rest of your life. If going on home-bound will allow you to get the best grades than do it and don't look back. It takes just as much time to look back on something as it does to look toward the future. What do you want to do when you get out of school? How will you support yourself and a family later in life. These are the questions you may want to think about. I dont want to sound like an a$$ but I have suffered form Irritable Bowl Syndrome my entire life so I know a little bit about being uncomfortable at school and in public areas.

Good Luck with it.

 

Hey Troutstrannysvc,

I'm very sorry to hear about the tough time you have had. I'm sure its very hard for you. I am a senior in high school like you, and I understand what its like for you to be going into a new environment after having been out out of the "flow" of things for so long. Since 8th grade, I have been to a new high school every year, except for this year, which I finally got to stay at the same school that I was at last year. Its hard getting used to the new environment and the new people, especially when you are the new guy and everyone else has known each other from middle school for the most part.

Its also not easy when you tend to have different interests and come from a different background than most of the people. I happen to like loud, noisy diesel trucks, I love to work in my yard with my tractor and I really enjoy computers too, whereas the majority of the people I go to school with have parents that go out and buy them $40,000 Lexus SUVs, get everything handed to them, and don't know what it feels like to work for something. However, I do enjoy the fact that I can scare the living *poop* out of people with my truck when they think they can pull into the middle of traffic exiting the parking lot in their Mercedes and my 1 ton dually is rolling at them .

Anyway, I think you should do what will make YOU most comfortable. I have a couple really good friends now, but they are the kind of guys that are great to hang around with, but I know we will all go our separate ways as soon as we are out of high school. If I were you I wouldn't go back to school strictly for the sake of being able to be with the "in-crowd". Just realize that your grades and your attitude is what is going to get you somewhere, not the fact that you are dating the best looking girl in the school. You've only got one more year of high school left too, so if I were you, I would just tough it out and concentrate on your grades and what you want do do when you are out of school, as hard as that may be for you.

If you ever want to talk, send me a PM or send me an IM on AOL messenger, my screen name is topkickdiesel and 90% of the time I'll be able to get back to you before the day is over if I am not at my computer at the time you send me a message.

Whatever you do, I hope that you will be able to look back on it and feel that you made the right decision. Just hang in there buddy!

Dennis

 

Ur grades should really be priority because looking back it would have been pretty easy to get great grades and get in most any college I wanted. I just got done with a couple years of community college because I was stuck in the party scene my juinor and sienor year and being lazy about homework. My junior year I quite Taekwondo and I was the belt just below black, all because I wanted to hang with my friends more, but looking back I really regret that. Do what's best for ur future at this point. Ur true friends will always be there no matter what, I still see alot of people at partys but only hang with a few like we use to, and those are the lifetime friends.

So i'd go homebound if ur grades will be better, and goto as many social events as u can, like dances and partys to still get that aspect in ur life, cus thats also just as important as schoolwork.

 

There is another alternative to PUBLIC highschool and that is HOMESCHOOL! I am 19, graduated and I know I have better grades than most other kids my age. When I took a "placement" test in 10th grade for a new curriculum and out of the 5 courses (language, history, math, science, and 1 other) language was my lowest as I scored at 11th grade. I have been homeschooled since 6th grade when we moved to help my grandpa take care of my dying grandma. My mom now homeschools 8 of us kids (my younger bro's and sis's). The typical day started at between 8-9am and I usually got done at about 1:30-2pm with a lunch in there. Later when I was 16, I was able to hold a part time job that got me about 30-32 hours a week. I did school work in the evenings and on Friday I would catch up.

About a GF, I do not have one as I am waiting for the right one. I see it as me trying to find someone who God has in mind. I have friends who have GF's. The go from one to the next trying to find the "right" one. I have to say that if you are not ready to commit, do not go looking for one. If she is hinting that this relationship "might" end, think of 20 years down the road. Do you still want her by your side and not have a inkling of a worry that she might leave you? If you do not worry, and if she agrees, then keep her.

HTH

Jon

 

Trout, I got a sense of what you are going through only due to my situation. I know how you feel, that I am sure of. At the age of 4 I was diagnosed with Chrons Disease. They said it was so advanced I would be lucky to live a semi normal life, without certainty of how long I could live. Most of the doctors said if I got to be a teenager I would be lucky if I weren't already in the hospital on IVs 24/7. It was very hard (though at that age I only wanted the lollypop at the end of the visit) for me and my family. After a few months of medication things weren't going any better. So they went back in to check again and this time there was no sign of it. Chronz doesn't just dissappear, and the biopsies didn't show anything either. A few weeks later they went back in only to find it again. The doctors were stunned. For the next 5 years this went on and off and no one could help it or figure out how it was working. Medications didn't help, I was sick at least once a day and never at the same time along with many other problems such as eating period.

Now after a few years of no help they started to go off in different directions. I was put on medications that no man (or woman) should be put on including things to mess with my head. (I still have side effects when things light up bright red and I don't mean areas I mean I peice of grass and a piece of grass alone would light up red). They believed they could trick my mind into thinking there wasn't anything wrong in hopes of it at least helping with the pain. Doctors were running out of options as my health was going down hill. I never really experienced grade school or high school and only had a few friends. I tried sports but the condition only got in the way. I was cut open more times than I want to remember. I have had parts of my intestines cut out and no help. Along with crippling pain, I still have times where it hits me so hard I just fall over in pain. Pain medication has gone out the window as none of it helps anymore. Trying to drug me for any type of operation takes medical professionals from all over. I was so happy last december when I was gettin my wisdom teeth out and woke up dead in the middle of the surgery (I'll just say ouch...).

Its one of the reasons I tell very few about my problems. People tend to treat you different. They look at you different. Your still you but just slightly different. After John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore told me that they could do nothing further other than pump me with all types of medication to see if it will help with the pain, I decided to just move on. Though I don't remember what it is like to not be in pain, sometimes the tough decisions are already answered.

You said you wanted to go back to school. Do it. Though my teachers didn't fully understand my condition, they knew there was nothing I could do to control it. If your teachers and faculty understand the condition they will usually help you out. As much as I was in and out of the hospital through high school, I was suprised how much they cared. I know telling people can be hard but most teachers understand. You got to try and live as normal life as possible. Around the age of 13 I really started to hide from people. I wouldn't open up to anyone and was in a major depression because of it. The best thing people like you have is hope. I knew as bad as things were, when I went by the cancer area at Hopkins, it could always be worse. Though I had alot of friends there, they all envied the fact that I got to go out, even as once in a while as it was. I met a kid there from MI and he was always happy. he told me "I'm still here to see my mom and dad, why wouldn't I be happy?" I knew then he was living for everything he could and being with his family was all that mattered. If going to school and graduating is what makes you happy, you got to go for it. No one is going to think any less of you if things go wrong. Though its not an excuse, some things you can't control and if the people close to you care about ya, they will understand you tried. I know I got off subject a bit but man if its what you want to do go for it. If you tried to do all you can, the people who care for you will understand.

 

You should give it your best shot at what you think is right. Your senior year is a very fragile year, the administrators have something on you for when you get in trouble. You do something bad, they won't let you walk. One of my friends almost lost his opportunity to walk just for singing "Paint Me a Birmingham" in the cafeteria. But also, if you miss too much school, which would be your case. As crazy as the school systems are now, I wouldn't play around. You should be where you are more comfortable and where you know you will do better. Thats just my 2 Cents

 

My biggest thoughts on the matter...

1. Being social is a big thing, it is a part of growing up/learning to deal with others.
2. I do not talk to anyone that I went to high school with, and only a handful of my good friends that I grew up with, only 8 years after high school.
3. If they do not pay your bills, cook your food, put a roof over your head, change your kids poopy diapers, ect, then their opinon does not matter. I know it's hard to think like that in a teenagers mind, I was there, but don't sweat the small stuff.
4. Do what you feel is right.

I am sorry that you have these problems, (please do not confuse this with pitty, everyone has their own load to carry), but how you deal with them makes you who you are. It builds character.

Good luck in your decision. I hope that things work out well for you.

PS... want me to ****** a recruits gall bladder and do a swap?

Good luck, man. Keep your chin up...

-mad