APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER<br>Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job<br>history, lineage, and current report from your doctor<br><br>1. Date of Birth______________<br>2. Height________ Weight__________ I.Q. ___________ G.P.A. ________<br>3. Social Security #________________ Drivers License # ________________<br>4. Boy Scout Rank______________________________________________ _<br>5. Home Address_________________City/State________________________<br>6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_____________________<br>7. Number of years parents married?__________________________________<br>8. Do you own a van?_____Truck with oversized tires?_____A waterbed?_____<br>Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring or any ring in anyplace other <br>than a finger?_______ A tattoo?________<br>(IF YES TO ANY OF #8, DISCONTINUE AND LEAVE PREMISES)<br>9. In 50 words or less, what does the word LATE mean to you?_____________<br>_____________________________ ______________________________<br>10. In 50 words or less what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?<br>__________________________________________ _________________<br>11. In 50 words or less, what does the term ABSTINENCE mean to you?_______<br>___________________________________ _________________________<br>12. Church you attend?____________ How often do you attend?_____________<br>13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest?_____<br>__________________________________ __________________________<br>14. Answer by filling in the blanks: please answer freely, all answers are confidential<br>(that means I wont tell anyone ever - promise).<br>A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I want to be wounded is in the _______________<br>B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my __________________________<br>C. A women’s place is in the __________________________________________________ <br>D. One thing I hope the application does not ask me is_______________________________<br>E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is __________________________<br>(NOTE: If answer begins with T or A; discountinue. Leaving the premises keeping your head <br>low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)<br>15. What you want to be If you grow up?_______________________________<br><br>I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY<br>KNOWLEDGE, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH <br>______________________________________________ ________<br>Signature (that means sign your name)<br><br>Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are<br>approved. Please do not call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white<br>ties carrying violin case (you might watch your back) <br> :<br>

 

<br><br> When I was a freshman in Highschool I dated a Senior and her father was LT Detective Homicide in the county I lived in. I went by her home one evening and her father met me at the door with a real evil look and asked &quot; What are your plans with my daughter?&quot;. I told him &quot;same ones you had with her mother!&quot;.<br><br> He never spoke to me again I think he was in shock or just plain dumbfounded by my reply. 8)<br><br> Glad to see you are considering my dating your daughter at least ;D

 

I know that this was just for Top, but I just had to snoop anyway. Good one. I'd sure liked to have one of these when my daughter was dragging them home. Then she caught on and quit bringing them home. Later she confessed I scared some of them off. Sounds like a definition of a Dad who cares.<br><br>~Dave

 

Sorry to be lurking on this one, but my daughter is now only 18 months and is allready making goo goo eyes at the boys - the form is going to be handy - that and fairly large bore salt load.<br><br>Pat

 

You folks are too easy. I just inform them that I have 40 acres, a 12 guage, a backhoe, and buckshot has no rifling.<br>After getting the two oldest girls thru those years, I ain't letting the youngest out of her cage till she's 30 or so. <br>The son is a different story. Anyone have an older daughter they need to get rid of? Maybe we could link the two of them up. A bit of mutual cooperation betwixt friends. Got a fishing boat I might throw in for good measure.

 

Wish my daughter was old enough ... I could use a good fishin boat <br><br>PISTOL

 

LMFAO

 

I just can't understand why I'm not getting any takers for my son? Am I going to have to throw in a truck to pull the boat?<br>I thought you guys would be a bit more helpful.<br><br>Bruce

 

Send him to Denver. Have him stand up in a crowd and yell out how much he hates the Broncos!! He'll meet plenty of new people. Why, he'll really attract a crowd. And the best part, you can keep the boat and truck. Uh, what kind of boat? One of those fancy bass fishin' boats? H-m-m-m-m-m, my daughter's 30 and lives in Denver. Going with someone but they never seem to last. She'd love a new truck. H-m-m-m-m-m-m, nah, she'd never go for it, she knows all about military brats, being one herself. <br><br>~Dave

 

Dave,<br>he's 30 too. Boat is flatbottom, 15 electric start Merc, stick steering. Great for the small rivers and creeks I like to fish. May have to dicker on which truck. Wife might get bent out of shape if I do something with Clifford (the big red 2001.5). How about a big AF blue '66 w/armstrong power steering? Only 60K easy miles (from one end of the runway to the other). I'm the second owner. Of course there were 6,428 other drivers.<br>He likes the Denver area. Of course you could ship your daughter here and not have to worry about buying shoes for her anymore.<br><br>Bruce

 

Well, that just killed the setup. She bragged the last time she was here that she has over 70 pair of shoes. Her barefoot? That's like expecting peace in our time.<br><br>~dave