Buckshotmckee

Lets here them, I know you guys got some. Lets here true ones.

-So tonight me and the wife are out for Valentine's dinner, Chinese, and one of the wifes friends walks by. She says "Hi, what are you guys doing here?" And I start laughing, the wife says "What?" I said "Heres her sign!"

-I had gal come into work and she said " Are you guys a Volkswagen dealership?" I said "yes", She said "well, do you sell them and service them?" I said "well what color is yours?" She said "silver" I said "I'm sorry we don't work on silver Volkswagens" After this she finally realized what she just said. She said "I'm such a Blonde" I couldn't resist, "Heres your sign!"

Tye

derek840378

i was on break at work the other day and a pregnant chick walks in and sits across from me. from behind me another woman asks, "is it gonna be a girl?" to which the pregnant woman replies, "no" the other girl than asks, "oh, is it a boy?" the look on the pregnant girls face was priceless

NoSparkplugs

I like the one where the cop comes up to a semi that was to high for a bridge and got stuck/crashed under the bridge. The cop says the to trucker, "get your truck stuck?", the trucker replies, "No, I was hauling this bridge and I ran out of fuel".... Heres your sign.

derek840378

got another one. some day last week my dad got home and laid his phone on the bar and walks to his bedroom. my mom calls his cell phone and i answered it. she asked what i was doing "nothing" i reply, "is your dad home yet?"

durasmack

Tye, you've got PM mail....

Buckshotmckee

My 2 kids are pretty bad. They call me at work, Where are you? what number did you just call? work, I guess that answers your question. giggle, giggle, Have you left work yet? again I say, where did you just call? giggle, giggle, heres your sign!

runamuk

After running my first run ever down the track with the track manager as a passenger, He said ,"that must have been a 14 second quarter mile!!". I said, "Yes I know!" He then asked, "What is this?, Is this a Ford?" There is your sign!!! I almost booted him right then and there!!

Rick

hotdram

Young police officer came to our house (id theft investigation) and saw my truck in the driveway with the canoe on top, like this:


Here is the conversation:

PO: You goin' canoing?
ME: Ah, yeah. You goin' out for detective soon?

Heeeere's your sign

~Rob

derek840378

thems fightin' words

Hoss

Willy91

A Guy is changing his tire along side the road, cop pulls up and said hey you got a flat, Guy says nope I was just driving along and the other three tires swelled up...Heres your sign.

Hillbilly_Deluxe

Old feller drives into the parkin lot of a convinence store. I was standin out side. He was drivin a jetta with quite a rattle to it so i said "sounds like the high speed muffler bearings are gone." To which he replies "Yeah? Where do I go to get that fixed?" I gave him the name of a local muffler shop and he was off. I though about tellin him he had winter air in his tires and he should have summer air but that might have been pushing it.

JD730

My dad teaches welding at a local tech school. He has 2 pipe wrenches, one is red and the other is yellow. When students from the auto shop come over to borrow them he ask's them if they're tighting or loosing so he can give them the right one. Whats funny is how many actually go back to the auto shop to ask the teacher which one they need.

I PASS GAS

Along those lines, I have sent my girlfriend while I was trying to get the calipers off of the truck for the first time to go get the correct torq bit at the local NAPA for me. I also told her to pick me up a metric crescent wrench.

derek840378

i was in an auto-body class where me and a buddy, jay, were helpin this other guy, juan, (no mechanical knowledge) fix his truck. "hey juan, go tell glen (class instructor) we need an 8mm crescent" and off he scampers. we watch him ask glen and glen just looks at us and shakes his head. later he tells us to stop messin w/ juan all the time.