This morning before she lef tfor work, the BOSS asked me to administer oral medications to the family dogs and the BOSS's cat, a 15 pound male with a name that would violate site rules, were I to post it. Well, I happily complied and the following is the text of the email I sent the BOSS to let her know it had been done....


Well the dogs took their medicine like ..well ...dogs...

All three sat there in a line,wagging their collective tails in unison and happily swallowed the nasty stuff... edit, I almost expected them to break into the chorus from "Old Man River", they were so mellow about it..


The cat on the other hand, was not so impressed.........

after chasing him two or three times thru the house, under the beds, behind the sofa and knocking over several large pieces of furniture, I finally managed to get a tenuous grasp on his tail and reel him in by it..

Only being bitten 4 or 5 times while attempting to carry him to the garage, I sat him down on the work bench and began to fill the syringe for the first of his meds...big mistake....
He shot like a bolt of lightening across the garage towards the open door, the front yard, and freedom..........
fortunately I was quick, and hit the garage door closer in time to pin him against the floor with the door, before he could make good his escape....
I retrieved him, only suffering two bites this time(THANK GOD we had him declawed!!!)...
I squeezed him between my knees and with my left hand and a large screwdriver, was able to pry his mouth open enough to squirt most of the Ivermectin in.....upon withdrawing the syringe, the cat immediately turned his head , and announced his displeasure by removing a large piece from the inside of my right thigh... I screamed like a small girl, and dropped him, and he bolted straight up the wall( not even sure he touched the floor) and into the rafters of the garage.
This placed him with the strategic advantage known as "high ground", from which he would be able to mount a formidable defense. To forestall any lengthy confrontations, I grabbed the garden rake, and after several attempts was able to dislodge him, sending him plummeting toward the hard concrete floor below.
Fortunately, the German Shepard, being the Good Samaritan that he is, saved him from harm, by catching the falling cat firmly in his teeth.
The cat announced his displeasure of this by removing a goodly portion of the poor dogs left ear and apart of his upper lip. The dog naturally, not expecting this response from someone who's life he had just saved, yelped, releasing the cat, who made a blind dash for the window.. unfortunately, in his haste, he failed to realize the window is a fixed pane, and would not open, regardless of how often( or hard) he dashed his head into it. While the cat was laying there slightly dazed, I was able to regain a hold on him.
However, I was now faced with the problem of filling another syringe with the Fenzybutal.....
I resourcefully grabbed a couple of the squeeze clamps that you so thoughtfully gave me last year, and clipped his front paws to the workbench.. this allowed me to fill the syringe and administer the medicine easily.
I believe this will be my preferred method of giving oral medicine to the cat in the future.
I must now go and take the dog to the vets and see if they can reattach the ear. ( as soon as my thigh stops bleeding of course).
It sure is nice saving money by giving our own meds tho, isn't it????


Now the BOSS is mad at me... go figure...

 

hahaha I love it. Sounds way to familiar! hahaha good write up

 

Man, Chris, you never heard of the ol' gunny sack method?

****** cat and QUICKLY stuff into gunny sack, twisting the top to keep him in there. Stand on twisted neck of gunny sack to let cat simmer down and quit wailing and thrashing and slashing.... OH, you DID remember to put on your snakeproof boots, didn't you?

take a length of sash cord or other stout string, and stealthily slip it around the twisted neck of the gunny sack so as to create a slip noose. Draw it up pretty close so that cat cannot fit through it. Now, prepare for some fast work - taking foot off twisted neck of gunny sack, let the cat see daylight - just enough to coerce him to stick his head out, and ZAPPO, snare him up around the neck. Keep aholt of that sash cord while he works things out a bit.

Once he's suitably subdued, step or kneel on the non-cat end of the sack to hold it firmly in place, then gently stretch out the sack to keep cat from lacerating your leg through the sack. With his head thus exposed and front end slashers hung up good in the sacking, you should be able to administer meds without getting injured any further. Some people prefer to wear welding gauntlets for this operation, but I've found that if you give the meds while cat is still nearly comatose, it goes pretty well for all concerned.....

Written tongue in cheek, I am actually a cat lover who can medicate my two big fat fuzzy felines without recourse to abuse!

 

LOL that reminds me of this...........





How to Give A Cat A Pill:

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a
baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat
opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with
right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly
with
one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and
rub
cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth
open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take

taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet

with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another
beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head
showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic
band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink
beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to
cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey
compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away

and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Call fire department to retrieve the f------ cat from tree across the
road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and
bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from
shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be
rough
about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash

pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency
room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill

remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new
table.

15) Arrange for SPCA to collect "mutant cat from hell" and call local pet
shop to see if they have any hamsters.
------
How to Give A Dog A Pill:

1) Wrap it in bacon.

 

Paul, the difference is that mine is what I actually did today! that is a true story( with a slight dramatic spin put on it)

 

Wow, ChrisR, you have not bonded with the cat. So the cat don't trust you.
Talk nice to the kitty, have a cup of coffee with the kitty. Then when it is time for meds just tell kitty "medication time," and administer the medication.

If that don't work, grab that sucker, pin him to the floor with your knee, have the siringes loaded and at the ready. Put one had under the jaw thumb on one side at the hinge finger on the other side, squeeze and the jaw and it will open up like magic. Administer the meds, pet the kitty and tell him what a good kitty he is.

If that don't work try halfpints method, or let the BOSS medicate HER kitty.

 

Good write up and true. My kids wanted cats. They each got one. They have both moved on, married etc. I still have the cats (15 years and still going strong). Best method for pills so far is two people, one holding cat wrapped tightly in a towel other person with the pill and a plastic spoon (wont hurt cat). Pill giver pries open cats mouth with spoon and tosses pill in, removes spoon, holds cats mouth closed until you can feel the cat swallow. Waiting for the cat to swallow takes time and you must be prepared for some incredibly vicious eye contact from the cat, I mean you will feel like the cat is trying to burn your head off with its eyes. It does work and I still have all of my fingers.

 

Chris, you weren't the guy I saw on TV (and of course, YouTube) talking about how nice the kitty is? This was right before the cat attached himself to the guys inner thigh. Oh well, I guess it turned out as good as it could. And don't worry about the boss getting mad at you, just thank her for not buying you the table saw you'd been wanting. Here kitty, kitty.

 

Who says she didnt?????

 

Good story.

Sounds like you need to sedate this thing before fooling with it.

The cats name, it wouldn't happen to be a slang term for another thing also, would it?

 

I believe that you need to invest in a tranguilizer gun ... put the meds in the dart and go "huntin" .

You are pretty lucky you didn't lose your "Tender Vittles"

Still gigglin about using the squeeze clamps .... almost as good as duct tape.

PISTOL