here's mine, can you top this?


one time, long ago....
i was working on putting a V8 into an S-10. I was standing on the passenger side fender & the front radiator support, using a big sledge hammer to pound a dent in the firewall at the rear of the engine compartment (making clearance for the distributor)

had a buddy helping (watching, like real buddies do....)

i got done, and just slung the sledge around behind me, and dropped it on the ground

we looked at it a second, i caught my breath, and just jumped backwards off the truck, and guess what i landed on?
the handle caught me right at the bottom of one buttock and slid all the way up. and the handle end was NOT smooth, it was rough cut. huge deep scrapes up the side of the ole tush.

i felt the same then as when i saw your pic of the bike.

my buddy was like "what...wha....whadda i do..."
i just told him "leave, leave, please leave, so i can cry in peace, i am embarased enough, i don't want you to see me cry"

it hurt SO MUCH, i actually tried to cry. laid there ~10 minutes just catching my breath.
i think he went in & looked out the window.

 

Not me, but might help somebody. One of my mountainbiking buddies in Germany had his seatpost break. He was a pretty big and heavy guy though. Almost ripped off the jewels and he did go get a lot of stitches. The seatpost was the steel or molly style that had the mount welded on as a cap and cantilevered back. I'll never get on a bike now that isn't the single piece, forged style that bends towards the rear.

 

I fell off the back of a FL60 before. It was a flatbed FL60 that had a lift gate on it. When the lift gate was folded in, you could use it as a step and climb up to the flatbed.

I had just finished securing the load, and went to climb down. I missed the lift gate and lost my balance. I fell 5 ft down like a sack of potatoes, flat on my back. Knocked the wind out of me really good. Plus I scraped up my elbow too. Not one of my proudest moments.

 

I was watching Wife Swap the other day and one the husbands was a real winner. He was working under the car with his son and his boy was holding a wrench and the dad was turning the ratchet. The dad hits the sons finger that is holding the wrench so he lets go to put it in his mouth and when he does the wrench falls and hits him in the eye. I laughed until I cried.

 

I was cutting through brush with a machete when it skipped of a hard branch and redirected itself into my shin. Not a proud moment for sure.

OR
I had a piece of plywood get caught between the fence and the blade of my table-saw and the force of the blade spun the plywood back at me like a frisbee and it slammed into my crotch/leg just to the right...it had so much force that as it ricocheted down onto my foot it (the plywood)cut through my boot and into my skin...The bruise on my crotch was hideous.

 

A neighbor asked me to help him unload some supplies at his construction site that had arrived long after his help had gone home. There was a couple of pieces of rebar sticking up out of the concrete floor about 20 inches that I noticed and tried to walk around in the dark.

Apparently I got a little too close and with my arms full tripped, in the split second it took for me to realize I was going down I thought of those steel stakes pointing straight up.

I threw the stuff out of my arms and extended them as far as I could landing on my palms looking like I was ready to start doing push ups. One of those steel bars was planted square over my heart and sticking in my chest about 1/4 inch.

Had I reacted slower or had shorter arms I would likely not be here today. As it was I could not get off the thing myself because my toes were slipping on the smooth concrete.

I had to hold myself in that position until my buddy got over to help me up. I should have been paying closer attention, I got lucky that day. All those push ups the Army had me do paid off

 

In grade school, we used to try to climb the flagpole. Nobody really ever made it to the top. However, one guy got pretty high and panic'd. He jumped off and landed with one leg in a trash can and one leg out. No need to say any more on this.

I've nailed myself (accidentally) to a cabinet before and had to stretch to get the cutters. That hurt.

My worst pain ever had to be when I bent down one day to pick up something in the garage. My back felt like it popped and I was stuck leaning over for about 15 minutes. Like there was a painful obsticle in the way, preventing me from straitening out. Or the time I had 5 double hernia surgeries. That was a painful 2 summers.

 

I was also cutting overhead limbs with a machete at our deercamp...way out in the woods...no one around for miles. Anyway, I was on the 4 wheeler back in the sticks chopping away at the limbs. The machete slips from my hands and like a dummy I have a strap attached to the machete looped around my wrist. Well, the thing swings around and hits me under my neck. I was calm at first until I felt my throat and blood covered my hands. Then I panicked. Who would have thought that a Honda 300 4 wheeler could go 90 mph and jump over trees. Got back to the camp, looked in the mirror and it was only a flesh wound to my chin.

Or how about the time I was loading firewood into the front end loader and forgot to set the park brake. The tractor rolled forward and pinned me between the bucket and firewood stack. Just about the time I was about to pass out, my wife came to the rescue and got it off of me. I only suffered a bruised leg.

Needless to say, my wife has taken all my knives and the tractor key away from me unless I'm supervised.

 

Last night, I was taking the muffler off my exhaust and putting on a muffler delete pipe... I was half under the truck with my legs sticking out, and I rolled over to get all the way under... my knee caught the leaf spring and WOWIE!! I laid in a crumpeled heap under the truck for 10 minutes... wimpering for help. Normally, my OL is up my butt when I am tring to work on my truck, but not last night...

If I ever want to take someone out good, I'll hit them with a 1 ton leaf spring on the side of the knee cap...

 

While camping out in Glamis, we always had some nightly entertainment. We'd set up a little obsicale course, involving a shot, cans of beer and little ATC70's; which you can out run on foot. Anyways, while "racing" this course, I hit a rut in the sand, over corrected and landed on my arm just right, braking my collarbone. Fortunately, I really didn't feel the pain and I could wait intill the following day before I went to the hospital.

So's the joke now in camp is, "Hey James, stay away from the kids bikes. I's not sure you's can handle em..........."

 

Held back the safety on my Paslode and shot a 3" nail right through my hand.

(Was firing at some geese)

 

While building a gazebo in a doctor's backyard one time, my grandfather and I had gone around to the front of the house to get some more material. All of the sudden we heard all this yelling from the backyard. We went back there to find that my goofy cousin had managed to nail his hand to the board he was trying to nail in place with the framing gun. Like we had all done so many times before, he was just holding the trigger back on the gun (probably a Paslode) and using the safety as the "trigger" when it hit the board. Well, when he slammed the front of that gun down on his hand that was holding up the board he was trying to nail it did exactly what it was designed to do...it shot.

In my framing days we used to have nail gun wars across the houses we were framing. We'd hold the safeties back on the guns and shoot 3" frame nails at each other. How we managed to do that so many times without ever getting hurt is beyond me.

 

Isn't there a saying that goes......".......God protects fools and the drunks......." ??????

 

This happened to good friend of mine when we were kids (about 12 years old)
Me and a buddy of mine were playing in the back yard one summer afternoon. When my buddy thought it would be a challange to see who could climb the highest up on the flag pole. After a debate on who would go first we decided that he'd be the one. My friend made it about 14ft up the pole which was about 20 foot tall and I decided that it would be fun to throw the old Nerf football at him. After the second throw I connected and hit his hands causing him to slide about 8 foot back down the poll until he came to an abrupt stop. His fast stop was caused by the rope hooks!!!! Yes, right through the *********!!! The poor kid had to raise himself off the hooks to get back down. After a long trip the hospital he managed 10 stitches and a very sore male member. All in all his "boys" turned out just fine. We are still great friends with a great story to tell.

 

We use to try and shoot the geese that would fly over the houses we were working on. Nail guns hurt, but I think the staple guns hurt just as bad.