tn hillbilly

As I sit typing this, I am on 10 month deployment to Africa. I have been married for 8 years as of the 18th of this month. 2 days after my anniversary, things fell apart. My wife told me that she thinks she wants a divorce. I so lost right now. I have prayed day and night, and the Lord is working. I think she is going to give me another chance to fix it. I have been so insecure, controlling, and emotionally abusive that I probably don't deserve it. I always thought of myself as a religious man, but I was living a lie. I was lying to my family, friends, and to the Lord. I have seen the error in my ways, and I hope my wife can too. She means the world to me. I know a lot of people will say "If she means the world to you, why do you not treat her right?" I have a lot of personal demons that I am working on getting rid of. I ask that you pray that the Lord will bind those demons up and never let them take hold of me again. She is my first and only love. I don't know what I would do without her. As the title says, I have 3 little ones at home that look up to me. I haven't been the best role model lately. I have done a lot of praying and meditating, asking God to intervene and make me a man of God. Those kids are so special to me. I love them so much. Guys, thanks for listening and reading. This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life.

Thanks,
Marshall

Totallyrad

Got you covered from here Marshall. Only two things to do, 1) keep praying and 2) listen to what you're being told.

Mexstan

You have my prayers too. Do both of you a favor and buy a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Both of you need to read it. In fact, get two books and each of you highlight the passages that apply to you and compare later.
Keep us posted.

tn hillbilly

Thanks guys for your kind words. It is just so hard right now. I am clinging to God to show me the way. I have neglected him for so long that I forgot how it felt to have the Lord in my life. I have faith that me and my wife can work things out. I pray in almost every spare moment of the day. Once again thanks guys, and I will keep you posted.

Marshall

XLR8R

God supports your marriage, and He wants to bless it - as long as you remain humble & live in the authority of His power your family will remain intact.

As a soldier, you have the training & experience to successfully accomplish the missions to which you're deployed... living victoriously in your personal life - especially as a husband & father - also requires tools & training.
This excerpt from Ephesians sums it up pretty well:

11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.

As you consider what each part of your spiritual armor represents and how it works, it's becomes clear to see how you are uniquely designed to be the tip of God's spear, and why Satan won't be able to destroy your family.

p.s. Marshall, our heavenly Father loves us always and really enjoys the attention we give Him... even though He missed you, He never begrudged your absence!

tn hillbilly

XLR8R,

I read that scripture about 3 times a day. It is part of my morning prayers. A really good friend led me to it. And now another friend, although we don't really know each other, has led me to. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and he has opened my eyes to quite a few things in recent days. Once again thanks guys for all your prayers they are much appreciated. I am also praying for you guys and your daily lifes.

Marshall

XLR8R

Too true, Marshall - often hard to see what God is going to do (or is doing), but always comforting to recognize what He has already done!

Since "a matter is established in the mouth of 2 or 3 witnesses", and "a 3-stranded cord is not easily broken", I know that the enemy is already afraid of the battles you'll win when you choose to stand your ground... simply because as the apostle John quoted:
12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.
13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
14 If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much!

tn hillbilly

A little update. I continue to reach out the Lord to send his blessing down upon my marriage. I ask him mulitple times a day to cast satan out of my marriage. I have also enrolled in an anger management class. Me and my wife are in agreement that I must fix myself before we can fix our marriage. The one great thing I can say, is that we haven't said a harsh word toward each other since she brought up the divorce thing. She was shocked that I didn't blow up and get angry at her. I was in to much shock to do that. I am not mad at her at all, and I do not resent her for what she is feeling. I can honestly say that I don't blame her for feeling the way she does. I ask that you guys continue to lift us up in prayer. I know everything is possible through God, you just have to ask for it. Once again guys, Thanks.

Marshall

XLR8R

Good news, Marshall - hang in there!

Best anger management I ever had was the realization that since God forgave me, I could forgive others of their wrongs - real or imagined - against me...
besides, what man can afford to be without defense these days?

Proverbs 25:28 says
"Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls."

1STGENFARMBOY

Marshall i just got home from a trip to the mountains of TN and read the thread, sounds like the main person you have been lying to is yourself, Its so easy to tell yourself your living wright but God knows all and he knew your heart as he does now, Its so easy for me to forget who gives me everything, and let pride get in the way. I will be praying for ya, but it sounds like you allready know where to go for help.

Always look to him for your answers

Dar

tn hillbilly

Dar,

You are correct sir. I have been lying to myself for many years. I am trying daily to live my life as the Lord sees fit. For the last couple of weeks have been more at peace than ever. It feels great. I am keeping the dialogue open with my wife. We have a long way to go, but I know we can there. Please continue to pray for us. We really need it. I thank you guys so much for support. I have started reading a book call The Power of a Praying Husband. It has opened my eyes a lot. Well im gonna run.

Marshall

wyododge

Prayers from here Marshall,

You are on a very tough and confusing road. Sounds like you have a pretty good road map, as long as you follow it.

tn hillbilly

Jeff,

Thanks buddy. I appreciate it. At times it's hard to stay on the road, but I stop, talk to the Lord, and he gets my back on track. Once again, thanks for the support guys.

twichit

Hi , I just got an e-mail from my youth leader, my boss's wife [i'm friends with the whole family] is asking for prayer for their family,I don't know what they are dealing with, but if you could pray for them. I would appreciate it ,thanks Nate

wyododge

Prayers sent.