A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and<br>the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and<br>in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, &quot;Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?&quot;<br><br>The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--&quot;Well yeah, if that's what they are--I never heard of circle flies&quot;. So the<br>farmer says--&quot;Well, circle flies are common on farms. See,<br>they're called circle flies because they're almost always found<br>circling around the back end of a horse.&quot;<br><br>The trooper says, &quot;Oh,&quot; and goes back to writing the ticket.<br>Then after a minute he stops and says, &quot;Hey...wait a minute,<br>are you trying to call me a horses a$$?&quot;<br><br>The farmer says, &quot;Oh no, officer. I have too much respect<br>for law enforcement and police officers to even think about<br>calling you a horses ***.&quot;<br><br>The trooper says, &quot;Well, that's a good thing,&quot; and goes<br>back to writing the ticket.<br><br>After a long pause, the farmer says, &quot;Hard to fool them flies<br>though.&quot;<br><br><br>

 

 

 

 

SWAT! :

 

s-n-i-c-k-e-r

 

 

Good one.

 

Trooper's pacing this pickup on the freeway. The troopers been obviously following the vehicle a while but isn't slowing down to the speed limit. Trooper hits the overheads to pull the truck over and the guy speeds up,85, 90, 95....<br>Trooper hits the siren and the guy keeps going faster, 95, 100, 105.... <br><br>Finally the trooper is able to pull up next to the guy and wave him over. The driver, squinting at the trooper finally slows to a stop on the shoulder. The trooper quickl and cautiously approaches the driver and orders him from the vehicle, &quot;Sir, please get out of the car NOW!&quot;<br><br>Driver loooking around behind the trooper, &quot;You alone?&quot;<br>Trooper draws his weapon and points it towards the driver, &quot;Sir, is there gonna be troublee?&quot;<br>Driver, &quot;No sir, it's just that a long time ago, my wife left me for a trooper. I thought you might be bringing her back!&quot;