Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Jeep.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left ********. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

 

There was a blind man who stepped on Chuck Norris' foot on the street one day. Chuck Norris said "Do you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris." The words Chuck Norris made the blind man regain his sight... Unfortunately, the first and last thing he ever saw was a round house kick to the face.

 

Make sure we keep them G rated, guys...


Thanks.

mad

 

Made a point to keep them G rated, if one slipped in there I am sorry

 

We are allowed PG13 right? You have to be 13 to "participate" in the forum anyway.
Haven't you read your rules and regulations?
JK
Now don't ban me!

Cory

 

Ban you, no. Make you explain the rule's not PG13 over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..............YES.

 

What's the deal... do I got a rep? Why does everyone always think that we're going to ban them for talking to us?

 

There were 2, but it's not a big deal. I just took them out.


No worries. No harm, no foul.


I'm here for you!

mad

 

I don't think he meant us, more like you! (ha ha)

 

I have a feeling what one was sorry again, but why do I have the feeling you have a bag of these Norris jokes you could share

 

Chuck Norris vs. madhat...

The battle of two such forces could never happen, as it would end the world as we know it...

 

It already did... this is the matrix...

 

when chuck norris jumps in water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris

 

That's why this beer tastes so good...

 

Not for just talking, I may of been doing a little picking also.
Cory