did ya get the brush hogging done ?

 

MAN I hate havin' to explain the simplest of jokes!

I can stick weld just fine! I don't for the same reason YOU don't walk everywhere you need to go; there are better ways!

Why do you need to have overdrive in reverse?




Morning all.

Today is Friday, January 22nd.

On this day in 1879 - James Shields began a term as a U.S. Senator from Missouri. He had previously served Illinois and Minnesota. He was the first Senator to serve three states.

1879 - British troops were massacred by the Zulus at Isandhlwana.

1900 - Off of South Africa, the British released the German steamer Herzog, which had been seized on January 6.

1901 - Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for nearly 64 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her.

1905 - Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg, Russia, resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were killed.

1917 - U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in Europe, calling for "peace without victory." America entered the war the following April.

1941 - Britain captured Tobruk from German forces.

1944 - Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during World War II.

1950 - Alger Hiss, a former adviser to U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, was convicted of perjury for denying contacts with a Soviet agent. He was sentenced to five years in prison.

1951 - Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League baseball game after hitting a batter. He later gave up baseball for politics.

1957 - Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT. George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30 explosive devices in the New York City area.

1973 - The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that had been restricting abortions during the first six months of pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion.

1984 - Apple introduced the Macintosh during the third quarter of Super Bowl XVIII.

1997 - The U.S. Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the first female secretary of state.

1998 - Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for his role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison without parole.

2000 - Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in removing the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting him with his father in Cuba.

 

They haven't given me a commitment yet Claude. I hope they do because it'll take all day at least.

 

Wow! I didn't know you were bidding an ALL DAY JOB! You gonna hire someone to do 4 or 6 hours for you? Or do you think you can stay awake for the entire 8 hours?

 

Me too, why do I do it? Why, why why.......

Two words, demolition derby.

 

Greetings from UP HERE eh.
So much for the forecast. Freezing drizzle...widespread followed by lots of snow...that they cannot estimate accurately with high winds. That last storm in CA met up with a CO low and lots of Gulf moisture and is headed north.
woo hoo. Better get my cleats on.

Have a great wknd DTRONIANS.

Even you FiverBrakesmartless-sPEEdoEncrustedBob.

 

If you have to explain a joke, maybe it wasn't all that funny to begin with.. Put that in your coffee and drink it!!!



Yo, hows my DTRians this mornin?

 

That's just YOUR way of saying, "I didn't get it either"

 

No... I just hold a higher regard to comedy than you do. I bet you still laugh at every "knock,knock joke" you hear..

 

Who's there?

 

For the fire fighters in the crowd. The investigation is complete into the cause of a fatal hotel fire in the city of Hoover, Alabama last week. The investigation concluded that the fire was accidentally started when the maintenance man, who practiced the Hindu religion, left incense burning in his room while it was unattended. The incense caught his prayer rug on fire. When the maintenance man returned to his room, it was full of smoke. He tried to fight the fire with a portable extinguisher but it malfunctioned. He then tried to phone the front desk clerk to notify the fire department but had to enter two additional rooms to find a working phone. He retrieved another extinguisher but the fire had grown too large by then. The four female teenage victims were staying in a room on the second floor, above the maintenance man's room. The women phoned 911 because they could not exit the room and were trapped. As time passed they told the 911 operator they could hear the water from the fire hoses on the walls but by this time they had retreated to the bathroom and could not exit as the main area of their room was fully involved. They women called their families and one family member has reported to the news that during that call the women said the ceiling was falling in on them. That was the last communication from the women in the room.

The hotel, a Days Inn, was built in 1964. It did not have sprinklers, fire alarms or fire walls in the attic because Alabama law does not require structures of that age to comply with the new laws. It also only had a window on the front, next to the door. There was no other way to exit the room. The walkway used to access the rooms on the second floor was also of wood construction. Since the fire started under and to the right of the room where the women were and the wind was blowing from right to left across the entry/exit door to the room it would have been impossible for the women to exit the room anyway because they were located near the right end of the building and would have had to exit in the direction of the wind driven wall of flames.

At this time the fire has been ruled an accident but the 55 year old maintenance man has been taken into custody and will be deported because he has been living here illegally. No charges are expected to be filed in this case against the maintenance man in regard to the fire.

Scott, you and Michael are profoundly aware of these dangers but you do spend allot of time on the road, staying in places that might pose significant difficulties to exit in the case of a fire. My assessment is that without an axe to chop through a wall in a timely manner, anyone in a similar situation would have been doomed to the same fate as these four women.

 

What's a 'knock, knock' joke?

 

a woman is having trouble sleeping -her dog is snoring loudly-
she reads that if she ties a ribon around his testies he will stop
she goes to bed - he starts snoring -she gits up and ties a red ribbon around them & he stops snoring -
later that night her husband comes home - a little drunk -
he crawls in to bed goes to sleep -starts snoring -
she gets up and ties a blue ribbon around his -
it works on him also-
next morning he gets up -
notices his new ribbon & the one on the dog -
he says to the dog-
i don`t know where we went last night but it looks like we got a first & second place


Claude

 

I must not snore, I didn't get a ribbon.

 

maybe you wern`t entered in the contest