A couple months ago, I was crawling around under the rear of my truck, both rears up on jack-stands, and me in under there adjusting the brakes, really up close and personal with the pairs of rear wheels.

I was crawling back under the right side, where I had already been in and out several times; when, out of the corner of my eye, I kinda thought "that looks like a snake".

I backed up a bit, my head and eyes about three-inches away from the space between the tires, for a better look.

Yep; sure enough; a very long, very much alive, big old huge man-eating snake is all wound around between the tires, some of him laced through the holes of both wheels, his head and about six-inches of neck poking out and looking me right square in the eye.

The handle was still sticking in the jack ----- way over on the other side of the truck.

The only weapon close was the brake-spoon in my hand.

I whacked him in the head with the brake-spoon and grabbed for his neck, getting ahold but not ahold good enough.

He (or was it a she; the way they dress and act anymore it's hard to tell) somehow was gone in a flash.

There was a good ten-feet of clear all around the truck and I didn't see him cross it; so, he must have went somewhere on or in the truck.



I follow the scriptures when it comes to serpents; they crawl on their bellies and strike at my heels; I'm supposed to strike at their head, and I do, usually with the heel of my boot.

 

A few weeks ago, I hopped in one of our trucks and there was a shed snake-skin that spanned the entire length of the dash, from side to side.

The doors are always locked and nobody but us is ever here anyway, so no smart-aleck had put it in there.


We have some jumbo cow-snakes around here;a six-footer is common.


My work-shop adjoins the living quarters.

I stepped out in it the other night to make sure the lights were OFF and the door bolted and stepped right in the middle of a snake that was laying on the steps.

Way too many places to escape in the shop and escape he did, me with a shovel in my hands and trying to stomp him at the same time.


Looking for something in that same shop last night, I saw FIVE rather long snake-skins, located in various corners, none of which were there a couple days before.


We have had probably the wettest year ever, acheiving our average annual rainfall about mid-March, then --- believe it or not --- the last six weeks had hardly a drop of rain.

Now, it is cool, over-cast, and constantly raining again.

I think the super-wet year is cause for so many snakes getting in places where they don't belong.

 

To help you out, I am sending you complete instructions on how to do my snake dance® pat pend. It is guaranteed to confuse snakes and impress and entertain any spectators.

 

Now I wAs gonna tell you to pm bark for shrill/scream/spin/hop/scream instructions. He is supposed to be making an instructional video also. But I see now he has you covered.

 

I forgot to add that we run a tire business.

Finding snakes behind hubcaps is not so rare an event as you might think.

You get to learn these things when you pop off several sets of hub-caps every day.


And, if you live anywhere South of Chicago, I can gaurantee that there have already been more than one snake sneeking around INSIDE your vehicle; vehicles have all sorts of openings down there in the weeds.

 

Rest assure that if a snake shows itself while I'm driving, that there will be an accident. Weather in my pants or involving a tree / guardrail.


I will never park my truck in the weeds again..

 

SO what's my prize for determining it was a norther water snake? Huh Huh????

He can have a nasty bite but mostly from bacteria in his mouth.
Been bit quite a few times by black rat snakes. Just wash off the bllod and keep gettin it. The teeth will come out in a few days.
Hod nose snakes are really cool. They will puff all up and blow at you and if you mess with them, they will roll over and play dead tounge hanging out and all. Old timers use to call them puff adders or blowing vipers.

 

And now you know why we used monkeys in our early space training. The snakes couldn't take the "G's".

 

They couldn't push more than one button at a time either.

 

He can have a nasty bite but mostly from bacteria in his mouth.
Been bit quite a few times by black rat snakes. Just wash off the bllod and keep gettin it. The teeth will come out in a few days.


Theirs or yours?

 

Snakes from Chicago sneak around in more than just your car...

 

Them seem to be attracted to my wallet and bank account.

 

Yes. Some of them become governors and presidents.

Spiders are what get to me. I can't stand those things! All those hairy leggs!

 

Ha!

 

snakes have evil smiles......just like candidates....whoops! no need for the political thread.

walked the night shift at a prison conversion from a mental institution, very old buildings 1860s....walked wide planks over large pits as they constructed new floors of concrete and steel. did not like water, so i knew whatever was underneath me wasn't water despite being black, shiny and moving. was late one day clocking out and the day shift guy asked me if I walked through the Murphy building. I said, yeah, every night- we are supposed to check every building for fire safety. He took me to two dump trucks where the exterminators were taking out poison baited black snakes by the thousands.......amazing. old grainery that was closed for twenty years, rat and mice heaven.
glad to be young and stupid.