My apologies for the length. I stole this from another list- If you ask me if I agree with all these rules, I will plead the 5th amendment.<br><br>We always hear &quot;the rules&quot; from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered &quot;1&quot; on purpose.<br><br><br>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.<br><br>1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!<br><br>1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.<br><br>1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.<br><br>1. Don't cut your hair. EVER! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.<br><br>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.<br><br>1. Crying is blackmail.<br><br>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!<br><br>1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.<br><br>1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes &amp; tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?<br><br>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.<br><br>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.<br><br>1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.<br><br>1. Check your oil! Please<br><br>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.<br><br>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.<br><br>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.<br><br>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.<br><br>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.<br><br>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.<br><br>1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first four<br>months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining about it to your girlfriends.<br><br>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And, we have no idea what mauve is.<br><br>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.<br><br>1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of<br>mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.<br><br>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say &quot;nothing,&quot; we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.<br><br>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.<br><br>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine with us. Really.<br><br>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.<br><br>1. You have enough clothes.<br><br>1. You have too many shoes.<br><br>1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz<br>together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.<br><br>1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.<br><br>1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.<br><br>Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I will have to sleep on the couch again tonight. But did you know we really don't mind that, it's kind of like camping.<br>

 

Those are great Dave. ;D I'm happy to see you ran them by your wife first ( Big Dummy ). hehehe <br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br> Just kidding on the dummy thing.<br> ~chuck.

 

 

Preach it, Brother! ;D

 

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!! <br><br>Priceless isn't it? <br><br>Glad someone was brave enough to speak the truth!!!!!!!!<br><br>Now shhh!!!!!!!!! before she hears us!! ;D

 

Almost printed it off so she could read it until I got to #1

 

[quote author=tool link=board=10;threadid=6531;start=0#61040 date=1036270000]<br>ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!! <br><br>Priceless isn't it? <br><br>Glad someone was brave enough to speak the truth!!!!!!!!<br><br>Now shhh!!!!!!!!! before she hears us!! ;D<br>[/quote]<br><br>LMAO..

 

Just read it to my wife and two daughters. All were LOL. <br><br>CR

 

ROFLMAO!!!! <br><br>Best thing I've read since &quot;I hate this place!&quot; ...and I thought that was funny. I think I'm going to print that out and post it in my living room for my girlfriend to read,...and maybe even send a copy to my ex-wife. hehe

 

 

I think you hit that old nail on the head.....!!