Three old timers were sitting on the porch of their retirement home one summer evening, discussing life and such, when one of them turned to the other two and proudly proclaimed, "Boys, I'm 83 years old and every morning I rise from my slumber, shuffle to the bathroom and empty my bladder"... Ah heck, thats nothing said the second old man, " Why I'm 85 years old and every morning I spring out of bed, skip to the bathroom and have a magnificent bowel movement!"....
The two old men then turned to the third old man, who stared straight ahead in complete silence. "So, they asked, what about you?" But the third old man didn't budge, he just continued to stare straight ahead with nary a word. Finally, one of the old men gently elbowed the third old man and said "whats wrong old man, you gone deaf?" With that the third old man turned just slightly towards the other two and stated matter of factly "I'm 92 years old, and every morning at 7 am exactly, I empty my bladder like a Chicago fire hydrant,.... and every morning at exactly 7:05 am my bowels move like a California earthquake"......Well, the two old men that had spoken first fell silent in humble disbelieve. Finally one of the old men turned to the third old man and proclaimed "well, looks like you got us beat, your a mighty lucky man!"... Not really, replied the third old man, you see....I don't get outta bed till 9 am!

 

I hope that ain't the voice of experience talking!!! I just won't say which one I thought you were!!

 

You win the prize! That's the best one I've heard in a while.

 

At the risk of getting excommunicated from the board - sounds like FiverBob and Top were in on that conversation.

 

Could be!!!