Well i am in a bit of trouble with the gf and i really dont know what to do. I am 23 and have been with my gf for 2 1/2 years. We have lived together for 2 year. Everything has been good but i just dont seem to enjoy this anymore. There seems to no connection anymore. Its not bad but it just seems to be the same all the time. never do anything new. Always just sit at home or out working on the truck. She dont like to do the things i like ie. fishing, hunting, ext. I have been dealing with it but about a month ago i began talking to a old friend and we have seem to hit it off. It started off by taking the dogs my dog and hers to the park. I told my current gf and she just flipped and it has just gotten worse. I tell her i only want to be friends but it just seems to get worse. Now this friend tells me she wants more. The thing is this girl likes all the things i do and our personalities and humor is the same. I just dont want to make this harder than it is, or hurt any feelings. I really like this new girl but i dont know if i should just walk out on what i have. I know no one can tell me what to do but i have never had anything like this before and am looking for some elder hindsight. Thanks for the help, i need it bad

 

Bail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

thats what im leaning towards......but we live at her fathers building and its got a sweet 30x70 garage...how do i do it. i have always been real good at screwing it up and having them leave. never had to do the breaking

 

I won't tell you what direction to go in, but one of the things I regret from years gone by was not being a man and breaking it off with a chick the 'right' way... Stand up and take the beating like a grown person if you decide to end it. Look her in the eye and tell the truth. If she goes nuts and won't listen, at least you tried.

Oh, yeah, stuff being the same all the time day in and out... that's marriage with kids... don't get me wrong, I have a great wife, but it's a routine. Welcome to the show...

hth.

mad

 

Stay single and do not have kids regardless who you date. You can get your own shop later.

I still remember what my boss said to me when I was having issues with my Ex wife and kid:

"Having a kid was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. If I had to do it all over again, I would get married again, but have no kids."

 

At 23 you should be with a different girl every weekend! You are to young to be tied down. My theory is try all of them and then come back to the one you liked the best!

As far as everything being the same every day, sounds like being married. Stay single and go out and do the things you want to do when you want to do them!

 

grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Someone new and different will always be more exciting then the current. Did you feel that way when you and the current girl hooked up. I'm single again by the way so I don;t know if I would listen to my own advice

 

Okay well this is tuff stuff and it is very hard to talk through a key board and get the right message across. I will give it a try though. I noticed that you said she did not like the things that you do, How about the other side of that coin??? Do you do stuff that she likes to do?? I can tell you that I am with MAD on this one. You need to be a man about it. I also do not agree that you need to be with a different girl every weekend. It sounds to me that maybe you need to find out who YOU are.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that you need to SLOW DOWN!!!!! you are only 23, relax, enjoy your youth. Be responsible, but have a bit of fun. Act like a man, but don't let go of the boy in you. Work hard, save every penny you make, don't take on any debt, if you have get rid of it as soon as possible.

This girl may not be the one for you. Take your time and think of why you liked her in the first place. If it is the same reasons for liking the new one WATCH OUT - you can not be trusted, If they aren't your probably okay. Tell this other girl that you need some time to think about things. But before you shack up with another one, make darn sure she is right. Just - take - your - time,
this is a decision that will affect the rest of your life.

What ever you do, have kids. If nothing else to make them as miserable as they will make you. You can get revenge when you have grand kids (which I don't have yet).

And last but not least, you are not allowed to use your father in laws tools, equipment, vehicles, property, or buildings until his daughter has a ring on her finger and a husband who treats her as well as he thinks you should.

HTH

 

All I will say is if you get a girl that likes working on rigs, hunting and fishing when are you going to have time for just you with out the girl always there 24/7. There are times to just be a guy and trucks, hunting and fishing are those times. Keep the girl for dinners, dates, movies nights at home etc. As for what girl you choose usually if you question it it is not going to last.

 

That dont always work, I used to think that way and now that girl I liked the best has a BF that she lives with in a house the bought together haha... didnt work in my favor that time....

but back on topic, like rifleman said.... bail AND like mad said, take it like a man... the whole point in dating is to find the right one, if there is no connection between you and the girl now then why stick around and put off the inevitable (sp)? seems like you have something good with this new girl, see where that leads. even if it does not lead anywhere at least you got out of the dead end relationship you were in..

 

You are way too young to be living with a girlfriend. this time in your life should be spent sowing your wild oats and test driving as many girls as you can. if you are sick of the routine. then just wait till you get older, married, etc... Theonly thing exciting about this new chick is jsut that, its new. I would consider her a stepping stone to more and more ***.

 

Well this is gonna be a long read .....

I'm going to use your own words against you. I don't mean to be rough, but sometimes the truth hurts because it will cut to the root of the problem and you'll see it without your blinders on. I want you to weigh the pro's and con's and make you decide for yourself using what you written.

You need to follow the "10 and 2" rule. Take them home after 10, get yourself a cab by 2. Never bring them to your house for a booty call, hence getting yourself a cab ride home or back to your vehicle. You're too young to be tied down with just one, and variety at your age is almost manditory. These are the years were you find what you what in a partner (physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, etc.) so you don't end up looking for greener pastures in 10 years or less. Kinda like right now, huh?



So basically you both got comfortable with each other and the relationship has become stagnant. It happens. It's worse when you have nothing in common. Is there a reason why you two hooked up in the first place? There had to be some kind of attraction in the first place otherwise you wouldn't be together, right? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and say that you REALLY did try to get her interested in things you like, and you REALLY tried to have an interest in things she likes? If you can, then the relationship is failing because she hasn't put anything into it .... and if this is true, this gives you an idea about her feelings for you since your relationship isn't important enough to maintain it.

Or this just might be a relationship based on convenience. It's convenient because she's prolly doing the laundry and making dinner. It's convenient because you don't have to come home to an empty house. Is this a rental or do you own? If its a rental, is she on the lease with you? Or is this her place, either renting or owning, and it's convenient for you because you just toss in a few bucks each month for rent/food/utilities? Perhaps its just convenient for you both ....

Or you have a confidence problem. Did you find "Ms. Right Now" and settle for her instead of being out in the cold dark world of being single and playing the field?



Well now .... you haven't played the field and its come to find you.

So what DO you have in the way of a relationship with the current girl? You're only 23 years old. Did you really see yourself growing old with this girl? Keep in mind I'm gonna be 37 next spring, so when I call you two kids its not negative. I know there are "more mature" gents on here than I (I'm not getting old, I'm just maturing) but you have to realize that 23 years ago I was working on my driver's license and chasing skirts. I have CD's older than you. Being young is not a bad thing, but you two are still kids and you both are still in that age of finding out who YOU are as a person, what YOU like/don't like, and you need time to do this. Playing the field is part of finding yourself.

Now there is a flip side to this that you haven't even seen. Girl #2 sees you, your place, your truck, how well you're doing, and might want to move in on this. Understand that I'm not saying she's a bad person, but there are women out there like this. Because you haven't played the field you've not gotten a chance to experience this bad part about relationships. There is always a flip side, and you need to experience it. You can't know love without some heartbreak.




Kris

 

Pickupman96 your 23. Go back and re-read all of the above 3 or 4 times then take a break then re-read it all again. I was 23 long ago so I know by re-reading all the above about 10 times something will stick because it takes numerous times for something to stick at your age. All the above is correct. At 23 life is way too much fun to be miserable. Go find yourself first, don't settle for anyone until your sure who you are. Don't have a different one every weekend have a different one 3 or 4 times a week because they are out there ready and willing. Your handle pickupman should be just that-a pickupman. Pick em up and drop them off. Good luck.

 

I just got out of a 4 yr relationship myself....don't rush back into another one just because things seem great. You need to take your time, fly solo for awhile and take care of yourself. Its nice having a girl around, but just give it time man.

 

That is one of those read between the lines kinda things. It would take well over a life time to try all the girls out there out. The real message is never get tied down with just one!