Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, &quot;I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out&quot;?<br><br>Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from hen's butt looked edible?<br><br>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?<br><br>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?<br><br>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?<br><br>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?<br><br>Why is it that &quot;distressed&quot; actually means &quot;very stressed?&quot;<br><br>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?<br><br>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?<br><br>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!<br><br>What do you call male ballerinas?<br><br>Why ARE Trix only for kids?<br><br>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?<br><br>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?<br><br>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?<br><br>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?<br><br>Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?<br><br>Why do the Alphabet song, Baa Baa Black Sheep and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?<br><br>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?<br><br>Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?<br>

 

;D ;D ;D ;D

 

Why is it that we drive on a parkway and park on the drive way?

Why do people call them atm machines? Isn't that automated teller machine machine.

Do indians have rain dance practice? If so does it rain during them? If not how do they know they're doing it right?
Stole that last one from George Carlin

 

Course not. That's why I spread these little gems around.

 

Also...<br><br>Why is a person that handles your money called a &quot;Broker&quot;?<br><br>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at<br>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?<br><br>And of course:<br><br>If the black box survives an airline crash...(altogether now) why don't they make aircraft out of the same metal?<br><br><br>

 

OK but who was the first person to think a Crab Or Lobster was good eats?<br>

 

[quote author=RamlovingVet link=board=10;threadid=9360;start=0#89783 date=1042041741]<br>OK but who was the first person to think a Crab Or Lobster was good eats?<br> <br>[/quote]<br><br>Possibly a shipwrecked ancient traveler with a growing hunger pang <br><br>Amazing what you will try given the necessity of the situation. Whats the old saying.......&quot;Necessity is the mother of invention&quot;?<br><br>I can see that.

 

[quote author=RamlovingVet link=board=10;threadid=9360;start=0#89783 date=1042041741]<br>OK but who was the first person to think a Crab Or Lobster was good eats?<br> <br>[/quote]<br><br>In fact!<br><br>In colonial times, lobsters were considered &quot;poverty food.&quot; They were harvested from tidal pools and served to children, to prisoners, and to indentured servants, who exchanged their passage to America for seven years of service to their sponsors. In Massachusetts, some of the servants finally rebelled. They had it put into their contracts that they would not be forced to eat lobster more than three times a week. Lobsters could be found piled 2 feet high on the beach after a storm, and 30-40 pounders weren't uncommon.<br><br>Another bit of useless information. :.... ;D<br><br><br>

 

I have a light in my freezer... :<br><br>

 

Whats the first thing you do when someone says they broke wind [farted]?<br>Be honest.

 

Light a match and stand back! <br>

 

Why do hotdoges come in packs of 8 and buns in packs of 12?