Question?

How do you tell the difference between democrats, republicans and southern republicans?
Now look closely.

Answer.

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes

around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the

knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert

shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What

do you do?
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Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or Oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

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Republican's Answer:

BANG!

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Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??

 

cute

 

There's a Republican and Democratic way to fill a pothole too...

The Republican would clean out the hole, heat it up w/ a weed burner, pour some tar in there, and pound some asphalt into it.

The Democrat would make the rest of the assembly members aware of the pothole situation in the city/state/country he/she represents and request a survey to find out how many potholes there are and how bad each one is. Then they would require an environmental study from the EPA to see what causes the potholes and how they affect the surrounding lakes, streams, and groundwater. After the results are announced they would all gather together to discuss the solution to the pothole problem over bag lunches in the local park. After they figure out some way of filling the potholes they need to do a cost analysis to see how they're going to fund it all. Meanwhile, in between the commission meetings, the Democrat is trying to find new ways to tax his voters to fund all of this hogwash.

 

...then there is the present day republican way:

Fill the hole with crap thus creating the gratest deficit in history, and when it starts stinking blame it all on bad information and liberal and leftist propaganda...

 

Works for me.

 

And Lord knows not a single democrat had anything to do with this....

 

They probably had something to do with it, but as thet say
..."the buck stops"... where is it again that it is supposed to stop?

 

Once again you guys take these jokes and try to turn them into political arguments.

Out come the locks.