I don't really know why I'm posting this. I guess if my experience can serve as a reminder or wakeup call to someone than it's worth it. The situation, while not going into detail, did not involve cheating but rather emotional neglect on my part. It's amazing how much you can think you get it but later find out how off base you really were. In my case I found out too late. Her love for me is gone and even though I've tried very hard to change and fix it she won't have it. Sometimes we spend too much time focusing on distractions in life that only serve to block from view what's really important, family. What is life without someone to share it with? It seems like people's natural inclination is to only fully appreciate what you have once it's gone. I'm guilty of this to the most extreme degree and I sincerely hope none of you do. Just thought I'd share that.

 

That sucks, I have never been through that kind of thing before. But If you need to vent man, just let me know. I know that can do a lot in it's self.

 

That SUX.......

Sorry you figured that out a little late.... Good Luck...

 

Hard on the heart. Especially when you didn't know until it was too late. My brother is going through the same thing. Situation is completely different, but I'm sure it still hurts the same. I'm sorry to hear it.

 

Good luck man, its gotta be rough. Also thank you for the words of advise. Hang in there, you will have a chance in the future to use again the life lessons you have learned.

 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Perhaps some time apart might help. She may realize the good things she had with you and you can better examine your emotional distance. If you get back together you'll know better next time.

Goog luck.

 

Don't give up . How long have you been together ? Sometimes women need a time to get away and have a cooling off period . Don't pressure her but let her know you didn't realize what mistakes you were making and offer to attend counseling . It would be nice if others used this for a wake up call but many won't . Women will silently suffer until they have no more tolerance then it's all over . Keep lines of communication open with your wives guys . Don't assume that just because they tolerated something for the last 5 years they'll still tolerate it tomorrow .

 

there's a book called 'crazy time' that will be a huge help. hang in there- you will come out of this a stronger person.

 

Been through it, I know it is tough to go through, but in the end you will be wiser and more in tune to what is happening in future relationships.

Just take it one day at time.

 

Thanks everyone. We'll have been married six years in may. We have a four years old son who means the world to me. We're trying to keep it real civil for his sake. I'm not going to let our mistakes and issues tear him apart too because no child deserves that.

 

All I can say is good luck, my friend. If you need support, you know you'll have some here.

 

Some thoughts:

My Dad had a philosophy that said "marriage was something you did until you got it right". He had been married 3 times and my mom two. But, they were married 49 years when my father died.

Some people grow up appart and some grow together. That is just reality. If things are truely over, don't stop. Life goes on. It will / can get better.

Hal

 

im guilty of that sometimes because i work so much and worry about the bills and such and your family gets kinda stuck on the sidelines. thanks for the post. it helps you kinda take a look back at whats important. you've always got us for support.

 

just dont say anything that you may regret or not be able to take back later. after alittle distance, things MAY improve. best of luck, i feel for you.

 

I've been through that. No fun at all.

Looking back, in retrospect I can see many things I did (or didn't do) that weren't very supportive at best, and just plain thoughtless at worst. At the time (in the middle of having problems) I suppose it was tough to see things objectively.

Anyway, be sure to blow off the stress in a positive way (jogging, take a camping trip, or something) and good luck.