had something that was a little offensive so I removed. Sorry folks.

 

nah, you are a marine and just like pain.... sorry , had to sling one at ya!

1-2-3 , well it sounds like she's lonely. pita , but lonely. yeah no one likes a judgemental person around. need trust, tough to start but trust builds confidence. confidence makes all the bs go away. stay away from the alcohol, anger is the first emotion coming out. liquid confidence.
enjoy th eholidays by your wife's side for the in laws. smile, it makes people wonder what you have been up to......no big hassle for you then later.


merry Christmas all of you troopers! hope your tongues heal by New Year's! heheh (bite your tongue)

 

Im blessed in that both the BOSS's parents are wonderful folk, treat me well and are fun to be around...
They actauly dont think too highly of me( Im a heathen and pagan for belonging to the Native American Church) and am soley responsible for their daughter living in sin and not going to Mass with them every Sunday.

That being said, they dont harange me about it, make me feel very much a part of thier family, and go out of thier way every chance they get to be good decent folks to me..

And MIL is a even better cook than the BOSS...

 

My EX MIL destroyed my last marriage I could go on for days about how she meddled in everything and even got 3" from my face and said" I DID IT ONCE AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN" MY ex and I are real good friends and she admits that her mom caused us hell while we we together .my new in laws are great.never any problems at all and very respectful of my wife and I in all ways.

 

I have very little use for mine anymore. Used to think she was pretty cool but she showed her true colors towards her kids (my wife in particular) .... don't waste a minute of my life thinking about the woman anymore.

Cheers,
PISTOL

 

Its just the opposite in my house... We cant stand our own moms.

I dont mind my MIL, she just nitpicks my wife on EVERYTHING and reminds my wife how hard I work everyday.

 

I got lucky... both MIL and FIL are better than I could have ever wished for.

 

My MIL is almost too nice! Every year for X-Mas she gives us a coupon book for one weekend a month where she takes the kids and me and the wife can, um, get lots of housework done and stuff.

Now ask my wife how she likes her FIL(My Dad) and you may get a different story. I'll tell the same story though..... LOL

Actually she loves my Dad but he's just a pain in the butt most of the time...

 

I had to close up shop today for a couple hours when my MIL called and her furnace had gone out. She calls and KNOWS I am there any time she needs me, and I can guarantee that she would do the same for me in the blink of an eye.

 

I got a chuckle from this post and the responces ....

My MIL and I get along great, even though her and my wife, her own flesh and blood, get along like cats and dogs. I told my wife that its just because you can't have two cooks in the same kitchen, and she agrees with me and is understanding of it.

The kicker is my wife has asked me to intervene so often she now calls me the "Voice of Reason" that only my MIL will listen to and hear. They got into it really bad last year and while I was home on vacation we all sat down and I very nicely told my MIL that "I'm a contractor in Iraq and you need to give your daughter a break and not drive her crazy due to the amount of worrying she does on a daily basis because of where I am" routine. Took me maybe 5 minutes of talking and problem solved.

Now my folks on the other hand ..... they ended up being the in-laws you've heard about in nightmares. I've got more than a few reasons why I haven't spoken to them in 10 years.



Kris

 

IMHO, I think what it boils down to is the relationship between the spouses to whether or not the inlaws are tollerable. For instance I get along great with my MIL and FIL and they are good people and I don't mind when they come around or when we go to see them.

Same thing with my wife and my parents they get along great, however my wife is a little more shy and my mom is more outgoing so she tends to intimidate my wife and at times she uses that to her advantage, I can see that and I support my wife so once and a while she needs to let my mom know that.

While I don't have any problems with the MIL and FIL there are plenty of other inlaws at the family g2gs that I can't stand, but my wife support me and knows me, and also know that I won't bite my tongue for long. I usually don't let people get under my skin and then snap, I let them know from the beginning how I feel and go from there, if they continue I do to. So therefore when the welfare/SSI getting, chain smoking, ex-con boyfriend'd, loudmouth, Obama loving aunt says something about how I raise my son, it usually ends before I even get started on her.

Am I confrontational? Probably at times. But I don't like beating around the bush, I can get along with anybody and usually do, but some people are just negative and like to push they're view on you or just like to try and P.O. people to get the mad and ruin their day.

 

My in laws are fine, good people, no real problems. I do whatever I can for them whenever they need it. They dont give me a hard time at all. Not that they cant drive me crazy but we do get along fine.

To the orignal poster, you mentioned substance abuse, this is different than typical inlaw stuff. Please forgive me if I am overstepping here. You and your wife are going to have to come to grips with what is really going on and how to deal with it. I would suggest that at least your wife and you too if you are willing to check into adult children of alcoholics or a similar organization.
http://www.adultchildren.org/
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

You need to realize that it is not your problem but her (mil) problem and there is very little if anything you can do about her probolem. Which doesnt mean you have to put up with it and just let it go. There are things you can do for yourself. It is very hard to deal with an alcoholic family member, it is never pleasant for anyone involved. In this case particulary your wife as it is her mother. Whether you attend meetings or not at least try to read up on the various sites like above or the library to learn what you can. There are a ton of resources out there. You may learn some stuff that will help you and your wife and in the end possibly your mil. A quick search on the web will provide you with a multitude of resources.

 

"1-2-3 , well it sounds like she's lonely."

We believe that too. My FIL gets up in the morning and leaves her alone all day with 3 chihuahua's and all she ever watches on TV is the CNN and Fox news channels, and they run the same stories over and over and over. She really has nobody to talk to or anything to occupy herself with during the day.

 

My MIL passed away a few years ago, but I used to BRAG about her!

She was a sports writer for the Baltimore Sun in the '40s and '50s. How many sons-in-law could sit down with MIL and watch sports? She knew more about football and baseball than I did!

 

Licky me I've got two! Well I had two but my wife and I have pretty much estranged ourselves from her birth mom because of her condescension and antics, lying and other great attributes. Sad but it needed to be done for my wifes sanity and everything has been pretty good ever since.
My actual MIL is salt of the earth and a wonderful woman, I thank the good Lord for this every day.

Did you know you can rearrange the letters in Mother-in-law to spell Woman Hitler!

Kurt