For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For<br>those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have<br>children nearing this age, this is a warning. For Those who have not yet had<br>children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother<br>in Austin,Texas...<br><br>Things I've learned from my children (honest &amp; no kidding):<br><br>1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4<br>inches deep.<br><br>2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller<br>blades, they can ignite.<br><br>3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.<br><br>4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong<br>enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman<br>cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paintcan, can spread paint on<br>all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.<br><br>5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using<br>a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you<br>get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.<br><br>6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a<br>ceiling fan.<br><br>7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words &quot;uh oh,&quot; it's already too<br>late.<br><br>8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.<br><br>9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a<br>36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.<br><br>10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.<br><br>11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.<br><br>12. Superglue is forever.<br><br>13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't<br>walk on water.<br><br>14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.<br><br>15. VCR's do not eject PB&amp;J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they<br>do.<br><br>16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.<br><br>17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.<br><br>18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.<br><br>19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like<br>ovens.<br><br>20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time to my<br>house.<br><br>21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.<br><br>22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.<br><br>23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.<br><br>24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.<br><br>First grade... True story:<br><br>One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little<br>Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the First pig was<br>trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, &quot;...And<br>so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said,<br>'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'&quot; The<br>teacher paused then asked the class, &quot;And what do you think that man said?&quot;<br>One little boy raised his hand and said, &quot;I think he said... 'Holy Sh*t, a<br>talking pig!'&quot;<br><br>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

 

lol thats great <br>

 

: Thanks Dave.........Now I have to clean up the computer desk.<br><br><br>I was eating when I got to the Punch Line. ;D

 

I can't stop laughing.

 

Isn't that the truth!!!