<br>One day, this guy who's been stranded all alone on a desert island for ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.. It's certainly not a ship he thinks to himself. And as the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibility of a small boat and then even a raft.<br><br>Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous blonde wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.<br><br>She approaches the stunned guy and asks, &quot;How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?&quot;<br><br>&quot;Ten years,&quot; he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.<br><br>He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, &quot;Man, oh man, is that ever good!&quot;<br><br>She then asks him, &quot;How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?&quot;<br><br>Trembling, he replies, &quot;Ten years!&quot;<br><br>She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, &quot;Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!&quot;<br><br>Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, &quot;And how long has it been since you've played around?&quot;<br><br>With tears in his eyes, the guy replies, &quot;Oh sweet Jesus, don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!&quot;

 

A magician was doing a magic show and getting closer to the final trick he ask some woman to come to the stage.<br><br>She did and he asked her if she wanted to be part of a magic trick.<br><br>With a big scream yes oh yes I would.<br><br>So he turned her to the audience and walked up behind her and puts his hands in front of her face and wispers in her ear can you feel my my thumb in your bum?<br><br>He then laughs @ her and says MAGIC.<br><br>LOL