How to prevent shark attacks

ramlovingvet · 2003-01-09 19:03:54

Shark Attack Prevention StrategiesUsing a felt marker, write "Best BeforeJuly 2001" on your thigh.Wear a really skimpy Speedo -- no one wantsto see that, not even a shark.Be sensitive to the shark's needs.Sometimes, like you and me, they just need to beheld.Your startlingly realistic impression of aninjured seal?Leave it in the car, dude.Always go into the water with the kid whopulls off his scabs.Wait at least thirty minutes to go swimmingafter eating a bucket of chum.Only swim on days Miss Cleo says it's safe.Don't let your children into the water untilthe sharks have filled themselves up on theneighbor's kids first.Always swim with a slower, juicier buddy.When swimming, always bring along a bottleof Zima. Just like humans, sharks hate Zima.Avoid heavy use of "Zesty Cajun Flavor" sunblock.Cover yourself with pictures of Hilliry Clinton,because not even a shark would go near thatSkank.

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01-09-2003, 01:03 PM

ramlovingvet

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How to prevent shark attacks

Shark Attack Prevention Strategies Using a felt marker, write "Best Before July 2001" on your thigh. Wear a really skimpy Speedo -- no one wants to see that, not even a shark. Be sensitive to the shark's needs. Sometimes, like you and me, they just need to be held. Your startlingly realistic impression of an injured seal? Leave it in the car, dude. Always go into the water with the kid who pulls off his scabs. Wait at least thirty minutes to go swimming after eating a bucket of chum. Only swim on days Miss Cleo says it's safe. Don't let your children into the water until the sharks have filled themselves up on the neighbor's kids first. Always swim with a slower, juicier buddy. When swimming, always bring along a bottle of Zima. Just like humans, sharks hate Zima. Avoid heavy use of "Zesty Cajun Flavor" sun block. Cover yourself with pictures of Hilliry Clinton, because not even a shark would go near that Skank.