Could work up here. Not so sure down south. Could wind up getting courts and stuff involved. Guess Im lucky. My youngest is 29. He left at 18 when he could no longer abide by our rules. Worked out really well in the long run as he never wound up in jail (he says he did some drugs and stuff), he is married to a great gal and has a good job and we can talk about anything. Wish he would have gone to more college but we get along wonderfully and he is happy. Dang, wish there was one answer to the same question.

 

Thanks Eric! I try. I feel very fortunate so far with my son. He is only 12 and doesn't have any teenage "attitude" yet.....so we will see if my theories about kids will work out over the next few years.






I agree wholeheartily! Children will never tell you that they want discipline or boundaries. They might say they want to do what they want, when they want, where they want. But they really don't. What they really want is for
you to stand up to them and set clear boundaries with clear consequences for breaking the rules. It doesn't mean you don't love them. It means exactly the opposite and that is that you do care about them and love them. I believe to many parents try to be "friends" with their children. They have plenty of friends........what they need are well grounded parents (who be parents) who take a positive interest in their lives. That gives them security, imo. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

..

 

I'll tell you what I think. I think that a lot of people are full of garbage. I ride my kids like a cheap ride at wal-mart, and they behave. I spank them when they are wrong. Someone that knows my kids tell me different.

I see people talk about how good or sucessful of parents they are, but their kids are loser reject failures.

Then what?

 

I'll tell you what, when I was a kid, if I messed up you def. did'nt wanna hear my ol man's 12 valve pull in cause it was on like Donkey Kong. But I love my Pops more than anything. He def got me in the right direction. I'll do the same for my kids (boys hopefully) someday........

 

Hat, I don't know you from Adam but from all of the posts I've read here from you I think you left 2 important ingredients of your formula out of this post. Love and attention, I know you share a lot of that also, it makes the formula complete. My daughter is 17 and going to graduate this year, she was raised somewhat like you described. Although I was scared to death of what kind of results I would get it has been worth it. She is a very happy, adjusted young lady with lots of friends. I even let her set her own curfew, (she usually gets home well before I would expect). Keep up the good work and it will pay off!!

Now I just hope and pray I can have the same good result with my 12 y.o. son! ( So far so good!)

 

i think most parents now did not start out early making their kids mind, and now they are about to lose complete control when the kids hits the teen years.

i think that is the real problem, not young kids, but kids old enough to hurt someone, or themself.


local news

kids from 10 to 17 years old- attacking older victims and their motive wasn't money. "The assault is first and then if there's an opportunity then they go with the robbery

 

i like what you all have said. i will be turning 18 here real soon. freshmen year i regret some stuff i did but my parents took away my stuff and kept going from there. eventually i realized if i straitened up they gave it back. i eventually got a job and the 1st gen truck i had been wanting. i love my parents and think they did a great job raising me. kids need tough love sometimes.

i am going to be the same way with my kids... whenever that time comes

 

I think you have nailed it. As you said, and from what I have seen of his posts (Lets pick on Hat for a second) he is proud of his family and gives them as much attention as he can. (I know, sounds like some soupy talk show). Neat thing is, sounds like a lot of like minded people on DTR. Love and attention: sometimes tough love, sometimes some negative attention. Real world stuff is what is needed. There is some real hope for the next generation!!

 

Good stuff!! Took me forever to finally realize that letting people, esp my kids into my heart was the best thing for them--and me. I spent a long time being the non-feeling tough guy before I figured it out. Tough love is good as long as it it tempered with real Love!

 

They get that, but we were talking about discipline here. If I did not love them, they would not be disciplined. It's so much easier to let them do what they want.

 

I told my son with a good edumacation he could have both of these---->seems to be working

 

Who would know... I live in my frog, and it kinda looks like a junk room.

 

Funny just saw that on HGTV must be a Southern thing. Never heard the term out here. We do have Bogs but we grow Cranberries in them LOL

 

Best way we've found to make our boys behave. Take their motorcycles & 4 wheelers away. Luckily their good kids soo far. They clean the whole house not just their rooms, are in bed by 8:30 every night, up by 5:30 when I get up & bpth on A honor roll. When they do get outta line the get that hide tanned.

 

I feel pretty lucky, both of mine get very good grades. Anna, a sophmore, gets straight A's, Nathan, a freshman, gets A's and B's.

Nathan seems to suffer from the brain in the rear syndrome alot though. Has missed two basketball practices simply because he 'forgot' when practice started. Coach was pretty lienient (sp?) on him. Told coach if you want me to continue bringing him you better punish him somehow and to quit being easy on him. Coach laughed, said its usually the other way. Guess he had to do quite a few suicides . He is a good worker though, and I do expect him to be able to help do things with or without me being there.

Anna just took a prelimnary test for the SAT/ACTcalled the PLAN, I am very proud of her, she finished in the top 3% of all the Kids who took the test in the country. She is my baby, if she needs some cuddle time or talk time or ??? ALL else in the world stops.

We kinda look at school like the kids job, good grades are EXPECTED and somewhat rewarded, but bad grades (c+ or lower) mean all other activities stop untill the grade is up OR the problems have been addressed. 99.9% of the time its been the boy and he simply did not understand something and we just have to work with him untill he does understand it. I have spent 5-6 hours getting things through his head before. Those time seem to have passed though.

WOW I just proof read that and well...... sorry for sounding like a bragging soccer mom..... but I am very fortunate with my two kids and very proud of both of them.

DuaneW.