shortround

He's right on the money. Dial 1-800-GET-JANE



BY OLIVER NORTH

RELEASE: FRIDAY, JULY 29, 2005, AND THEREAFTER



VEGETABLE OIL AND TOURS OF "DUTY"



FRANCE -- "Hanoi Jane" Fonda seems to have tired of her moniker. The wilted flower child who firmly established her place in American history when she mounted a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun has decided it's time to teach a whole new generation to blame America first. If she actually goes through with her plans for a new protest movement, she may well become known as "Jihadist Jane." It has a better ring. More alliteration.

Fonda says she wants to criss-cross the nation in a bus powered by vegetable oil, advocating the end of U.S. military operations in Iraq. She's inviting the families of war veterans to ride along as props because, she says, the veterans she met while hawking her autobiography encouraged her to "break her silence."

Unfortunately, her publicists won't give the names of any veterans slated to join her tour, and the only notable encounter she's had with a veteran recently ended with her wiping that wheelchair-bound hero's saliva off her face. "I've decided I'm coming out," she said. "It's another example of the government lying to the American people in order to get us into war." She added that, "It's going to be pretty exciting." Maybe. Fonda recognizes that she carries "a lot of baggage" -- and she wasn't talking about the stuff removed by her plastic surgeon.

One way Fonda can overcome the lack of enthusiasm for her "nationwide tour," is to grant "exclusive access" to journalists who could help her tell her story. One suggestion would be to include NBC anchorman Brian Williams, who could put the tour and the war in historical perspective. After all, it was Williams' brilliant insight during a recent broadcast that revealed to the American public what they never previously knew -- that the first few American presidents were "terrorists." Another suggestion is to include former CNN correspondent Peter Arnett. Arnett, who makes his home in Baghdad, would do a great job of explaining the war and its meaning -- from the terrorists' point of view.

Another A-list guest Fonda should include is Pennsylvania Lt. Gov. Catherine Baker Knoll. It seems Ms. Knoll likes to crash the funerals of fallen heroes and hand out bumper stickers and yard signs. Liberals started this practice a few years ago when they turned the funeral of Sen. Paul Wellstone into a foot-stompin', heart-thumpin', hand-clappin', barn-burnin', get-out-the-vote affair. But when Knoll showed up -- uninvited -- to the funeral of Marine Staff Sgt. Joseph Goodrich to assure the grieving family that, "Our government is against this war," it crossed the line of decency, making her a perfect candidate to join Jihad Jane.

Finally, Fonda needs to select an exciting itinerary. Herewith, are a few suggestions:

Jane, start in the South. Southerners are naturally hospitable. Take in the D-Day Museum in New Orleans. It's full of surprises. You like the canard that "Iraq had nothing to do with Sept. 11." Well, the Germans didn't attack us at Pearl Harbor, but we fought them anyhow. A bit of advice if I may: Bring your own mechanic. Though the south has its fair share of farms, Cooter's Garage outlets, and NASCAR fans, no self-respecting mechanic is going to fix a broken down vegetable oil-powered bus.

Then, swing by a few sites in Texas to tell soldiers they're "fighting and dying for lies." Fort Hood -- home of the 4th Infantry Division -- might work. These soldiers that I covered for FOX News have already spent a year in Iraq -- and they are getting ready to go again! They clearly need your help because they are reenlisting at a phenomenal pace -- the unit has already exceeded its retention goals for the entire year.

The Burn Unit at Brooke Army Medical Center at Fort Sam Houston would surely have a few of the soldiers you claim to support; perhaps they'd be interested to hear your opinions about the low value of their disfiguring sacrifices. CENTCOM, Fort Stewart, Camp Lejeune and Fort Bragg, the home of our Special Forces, are all "must sees" along the way.

Finally, Jane, you'll want to finish in our nation's capital. When you get there, pick up Teddy Kennedy and Dick Durbin. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they relate their historical analogies to the boys over at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and the National Naval Medical Center.

Be sure to visit the graves of America's heroes at Arlington Cemetery before making your final stop at a polished granite wall on the National Mall. There, you will find inscribed the names of 58,249 heroes you spat upon when perched atop that VC gun.

Hopefully at some point during your Jihadist journey, you will bump into Sgt. Christopher Missick of the 319th Signal Battalion. While in Iraq, Missick met hundreds of good Americans through his blog, "A Line in the Sand." Home now, he and a fellow veteran are driving around the country -- fueled by conventional gasoline -- to meet some of the patriots -- his "web of support" -- who sent letters, packages and prayers. He wants to personally thank them and "meet the heart of America."

That's the kind of support the troops appreciate, not your caravan of craven critics.

Author's note: In last week's column, Sen. Dick Durbin of Pol Pot fame was misidentified as being from Ohio. While readers in Illinois were appreciative of his relocation, I regret the embarrassment it caused our friends in the Buckeye State.

Lary Ellis (Top)

Yeah Good old Ollie has a firm grip on reality and knows a useless piece of human flesh when he sees one

Jane Fonda, when are you going to figure out that NOBODY cares what a bimbo like you thinks anyway

herb

Larry---you are making a pretty broad stroke with your brush when you say "nobody" cares. I think perhaps what you meant was few if any righties care?

And for goodness sake show a little compassion for those of us , and there are a LOT of us, who do not share your admiration for Ollie North.

herb

I am sure God does not consider Jane Fonda a "useless peice of human flesh" , in fact he probably considers her one of his children the same as he does you and I.

shortround

I set here and worked up a good reply and for some reason lost it when I tried to throw one of the smilies on it.
I'll try again, but I'm not sure I can get back in the same frame of mind I was in.
snippity snip snip

Shortround out

smokindog

Ollie in '08!!! Who's with me?

Lary Ellis (Top)

Sorry Herb I call them as I see them and all my Army buddies see her exactly the same way...a waste of humanity and a disgrace to every red blooded American.

shortround

Ollie was given a job, and whether he liked it or not, he did what every other member of the armed forces would do. He said "aye, aye, Sir" and proceeded to do that job to the best of his ability with the resources he was given. When everything came unravelled, he took the fall. He was not one to play the political correctness game.
Hanoi Jane is nothing more than a self serving (insert name of a female dog) that will do what ever it takes to be able to stand in the spotlight and gain recognition from what ever group of radicals that will bestow that recognition on her.
Many of our POW's received extra "treatment" because of her acts. To be labeled as a traitor and stood up against a wall and shot would be too good for her. Something more along the lines of the punishment that our POW's received would be more fitting. I, along with many other in my profession, agree that she is as usless a piece of humanity as there is.
Much of what she did in Vietnam did nothing more than to stir up the other radicals that were protesting the war.
I was there in that green hellhole. Whether what we were doing there was right or wrong is not for me to say. We were given a mission and we did that mission to the best of our abilities. Every night I look at several sets of dog tags hanging from my dresser and ask myself if there was anything I could have done to lessen that number. The answer is Yes. I could have run away and gone to Canada. Taken the out of sight, out of mind approach. However, I picked my own path, made decisions that I though was right, and stood by those decisions. I stood at the wall several years ago and stared at the faces behind those names. I asked each and everyone of those faces if what I did was right. They all said yes, you did your best. That's all we could ask.
Since that time, I've been involved in several more "conflicts". My attitude has not changed. I still don't agree with all the politics, but I still salute and say Yes Sir and drive on with the job. I can say that I get a lot of self satisfaction when a troop comes up to me and tells me how well his equipment worked and that he appreciates the extra time I spent to make it that way.
Top and I and many others in here are of a different time and different breed. We didn't have "time out" or "stress" cards. We didn't have "Process Action Teams" to decide if this or that was the right approach. And we didn't have to deal with a bunch of people whose sole function in life is to get the proper number of punches in the right place on their career enhancemnt card.
Hanoi Jane is still a POS in my book. She can spout all the BS she wants. Why? Because our Constitution and Bill of Rights says she can. And that is what makes this country of ours the best place in the world to live.
Sorry about the rant guys. Just my opinion.

gettingprimedforanotherdayofdwiShortround out

herb

I did 6 years in the Army and i don't see it the same way?

Shovelhead

It's a matter of perspective.


American poet John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887) based the following poem on a fable which was told in India many years ago.


It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind


The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”


The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”


The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”


The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”


The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”


The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”


And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Moral:


So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

herb

ok

now that you have made your pitch for the elephants how's bout one for the mule's

Shovelhead

Well there's the FRONT end of a mule, and then there's the REAR end.........

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

shortround

of a horse?

herb

i am imagining that the rear end is the part that will kick butt during the next election

Shovelhead

It's happened before....