Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. "I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's TEXAS -- the most glorious place on earth.

There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests. The people from TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in AUSTIN."

 

Hehehe....

 

A TEXAS BLESSING
Note: If you are not a resident of TEXAS or never have lived in the hot, humid Southwest, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.

Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine,

While ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass

Fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please

Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,

Gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,

in TEXAS, Lord, you've put them all!!

But this is home, and here we'll stay,

So thank you Lord, for insect spray!

 

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!

 

Yep....it's that time of year again. SUMMER. In another month or two SUPER SUMMER will be here.

 

I will be there to join you guys in August... dont worry, not my first trip, I know how to survive in houston in august......

Thank God for Ventashades...

 

Shoot. It ain't even begun to get hot. I can't wait for august and 18 hour work days steam cleaning 60 rooms a day.

 

I guess 100 degrees in the shade last weekend wasn't hot enough??!!

MikeyB

 

Nah. When it reaches 120* I get a little uncomfortable.

 

U got that right

SUPER SUMMER.. HOLD ON!! god blessed texas in many many ways.. Texas born and bred and wouldnt trade that for anything.. Down here in laredo my truck thermometer has read 107 twice already in teh past month...

Tx

 

makes me glad i visited in march when it was only 80

 

Boy! If THAT ain't the truth!!!...


There's "Summer", then there's the Summertime equivalent of the Self-Cleaning Oven position!
That's when you don't see your neighbors outside again until after September!!!
Lots of HVAC jobs down here! Not much need of the "H" in HVAC though...

I honestly don't think I could live down here without A/C.
Elderly ham radio friend of mine told me when he was a kid down here in the 30's, each morning when he'd get up to get dressed for school, he'd have to scrape the mold off of his shoes before putting them on!


K.

 

You guys can have it!! And welcome to it... 2 years there was about 729 days too many!

"The people from TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest..." Modest?? Yeah.... riiiiight!

 

but its a damp 100 degrees...

I had to work with a Canadian in Brownsville on a drilling rig, I think it was April or May a couple years ago, he wouldn't spend more than 10 minutes out of his truck and he whined about the heat the entire time... He got revenge, he had me sent on a job in Illinois in January.