dum dum me
Registered User
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 57
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From: Chapin,SC
I will tell you it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, being a single parent with a newborn. Daycare problems or having to call in sick since baby is sick. No offense to the women that might read this but employers don't look at it the same, nor does the rest of the world if you are a single father compared to a single mother. You don't want to go there. This is just my opinion, but you should just enjoy life, get established where you want to be, location and in life then establish your family. If you want to talk PM me. Mike
Originally Posted by kingofdodge7131
See this here is just like looking into my future. i myself am 22. 21 when we got married. weve done the wanting a kid thing, and maybe its a blessing in disquise it hasnt worked...... Also could lead to other problems on my half of trying for some 7 months and nothing happenes? oh well Anyway. I want to thank you guys. Sometimes it takes someone completly out of the cirlce ( either of our families, friends what not) to show the light on what needs to be done for the betterment of ourselfs. Ill miss her, still cant quite go a day without a text message or a phone call.........YET. but i made it through a work day today. maybe tomorrow ill make it till i get home. Then till i go to bed, and hopefully not at all. Only problem is that there could be hope? Heres how everything went down for a recap. Met in october 05 married december 05 until march 06, still married, just jumpin back and forth
I can agree by a long shot married WAY to fast. Thought it sounded good and we did it. but weve said some pretty hurtfull things, gone a week without talking but seem to find eachother without trying. Weve never had the ok i wanna come back talks or anything like that. just end up hanging out sometime. meet at the bar, life is good. Today life is " ok" some reason she texted me. and it was all fine, even asked me out saturday night. I reluctantly said yes. Who knows maybe well do the talk to the parents thing.
Its not that her mom hates me ( i hope) its that she hates what we did, as my mom does, but atleast mines not yelling at me for trying to make it work haha I work on her dads truck all the time ( im a over the road diesel mech hes a driver, kinda goes like bread and butter) and yeah thats that. Sisters still "love" me as i joke around with them all the time. Just the mother i gotta figure out haha
As for adoption, heck no. I will someday if it was all good but maybe when shes 5, as for my own kid? I have no idea how custody works, but id imagine you get a guy that owns his own business at 22, has a stedy job on the side ( no banks for my business everything it makes goes right back into it) Steady family and income VS a girl who has no college degrees, lives at home with her parents, depends on them for money as she has no job and is on some student welfare program. Im thinkin id win? maybe not
I can agree by a long shot married WAY to fast. Thought it sounded good and we did it. but weve said some pretty hurtfull things, gone a week without talking but seem to find eachother without trying. Weve never had the ok i wanna come back talks or anything like that. just end up hanging out sometime. meet at the bar, life is good. Today life is " ok" some reason she texted me. and it was all fine, even asked me out saturday night. I reluctantly said yes. Who knows maybe well do the talk to the parents thing.
Its not that her mom hates me ( i hope) its that she hates what we did, as my mom does, but atleast mines not yelling at me for trying to make it work haha I work on her dads truck all the time ( im a over the road diesel mech hes a driver, kinda goes like bread and butter) and yeah thats that. Sisters still "love" me as i joke around with them all the time. Just the mother i gotta figure out haha
As for adoption, heck no. I will someday if it was all good but maybe when shes 5, as for my own kid? I have no idea how custody works, but id imagine you get a guy that owns his own business at 22, has a stedy job on the side ( no banks for my business everything it makes goes right back into it) Steady family and income VS a girl who has no college degrees, lives at home with her parents, depends on them for money as she has no job and is on some student welfare program. Im thinkin id win? maybe not
Registered User
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 379
Likes: 0
From: New Braunfels, TX
Originally Posted by kingofdodge7131
See this here is just like looking into my future. i myself am 22. 21 when we got married. weve done the wanting a kid thing, and maybe its a blessing in disquise it hasnt worked...... Also could lead to other problems on my half of trying for some 7 months and nothing happenes? oh well Anyway. I want to thank you guys. Sometimes it takes someone completly out of the cirlce ( either of our families, friends what not) to show the light on what needs to be done for the betterment of ourselfs. Ill miss her, still cant quite go a day without a text message or a phone call.........YET. but i made it through a work day today. maybe tomorrow ill make it till i get home. Then till i go to bed, and hopefully not at all. Only problem is that there could be hope? Heres how everything went down for a recap. Met in october 05 married december 05 until march 06, still married, just jumpin back and forth
I can agree by a long shot married WAY to fast. Thought it sounded good and we did it. but weve said some pretty hurtfull things, gone a week without talking but seem to find eachother without trying. Weve never had the ok i wanna come back talks or anything like that. just end up hanging out sometime. meet at the bar, life is good. Today life is " ok" some reason she texted me. and it was all fine, even asked me out saturday night. I reluctantly said yes. Who knows maybe well do the talk to the parents thing.
Its not that her mom hates me ( i hope) its that she hates what we did, as my mom does, but atleast mines not yelling at me for trying to make it work haha I work on her dads truck all the time ( im a over the road diesel mech hes a driver, kinda goes like bread and butter) and yeah thats that. Sisters still "love" me as i joke around with them all the time. Just the mother i gotta figure out haha
As for adoption, heck no. I will someday if it was all good but maybe when shes 5, as for my own kid? I have no idea how custody works, but id imagine you get a guy that owns his own business at 22, has a stedy job on the side ( no banks for my business everything it makes goes right back into it) Steady family and income VS a girl who has no college degrees, lives at home with her parents, depends on them for money as she has no job and is on some student welfare program. Im thinkin id win? maybe not
I can agree by a long shot married WAY to fast. Thought it sounded good and we did it. but weve said some pretty hurtfull things, gone a week without talking but seem to find eachother without trying. Weve never had the ok i wanna come back talks or anything like that. just end up hanging out sometime. meet at the bar, life is good. Today life is " ok" some reason she texted me. and it was all fine, even asked me out saturday night. I reluctantly said yes. Who knows maybe well do the talk to the parents thing.
Its not that her mom hates me ( i hope) its that she hates what we did, as my mom does, but atleast mines not yelling at me for trying to make it work haha I work on her dads truck all the time ( im a over the road diesel mech hes a driver, kinda goes like bread and butter) and yeah thats that. Sisters still "love" me as i joke around with them all the time. Just the mother i gotta figure out haha
As for adoption, heck no. I will someday if it was all good but maybe when shes 5, as for my own kid? I have no idea how custody works, but id imagine you get a guy that owns his own business at 22, has a stedy job on the side ( no banks for my business everything it makes goes right back into it) Steady family and income VS a girl who has no college degrees, lives at home with her parents, depends on them for money as she has no job and is on some student welfare program. Im thinkin id win? maybe not
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Joined: Jul 2005
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You know I went through the same stuff with thinking there was hope out there for us.......I kept the door open to the thought of a miracle happening and something would cure all our issues and problems and live happily ever after.............well I got to the point where I got sick of the cold draft from that door being open and decided to shut it and lock it for good.
There are so many other women out there to make you happy. Granted you said that most of the family likes you, but I can guarantee that your wife is not going to cut the cord from her mother EVER!!! Some do, but that is a very small some. Most will let their parents rule their live forever, and it sounds like that is what's going to happen.
If she honestly wanted things to work and was dead set on getting back together and sticking it out no matter what..........she would. There would be no excuses or reasons why she can't.........if she wanted to she would make the sacrifices to make it happen. She can make all the promises in the world to you, but if you guys are struggling this bad already...........it is never going to change......no matter what promises are made.
As you can tell I've gone through almost the exact same thing.........so I'm not just shooting from the hip here. I have been through so much crap dealing with almost the identical situation you are, and trust me it does not get easier. The more you try the more heartache comes with it. We got to the point where we had tried so many times to make things work, we became incredibly bitter with eachother over everything that we ended up hating eachother because of it. With everything she put me through, I don't like the person she is now because of it.
And you said something about her going into the reserves?? If I were you I would incourage it too. What she is doing is trying to run away from her problems thinking that when she gets back they will all go away and everything will be fine...........well she's sadly mistaken!!! Not only will they still be here but they will be much worse then before she left. But in this situation it will benefit you. It will give you time to get away from her and clear your head to make up your mind what you really want.
One last piece of advice........if you have any doubt that this relationship has the chance to fail again......do you, her, and the daughter a favor and end it now. If you truely believe that you have it in you to do no matter what it takes to make this work......and never give up even though you might be completely miserable, heartbroke, and whatever else might happen........then stick with it!!
~Nick
There are so many other women out there to make you happy. Granted you said that most of the family likes you, but I can guarantee that your wife is not going to cut the cord from her mother EVER!!! Some do, but that is a very small some. Most will let their parents rule their live forever, and it sounds like that is what's going to happen.
If she honestly wanted things to work and was dead set on getting back together and sticking it out no matter what..........she would. There would be no excuses or reasons why she can't.........if she wanted to she would make the sacrifices to make it happen. She can make all the promises in the world to you, but if you guys are struggling this bad already...........it is never going to change......no matter what promises are made.
As you can tell I've gone through almost the exact same thing.........so I'm not just shooting from the hip here. I have been through so much crap dealing with almost the identical situation you are, and trust me it does not get easier. The more you try the more heartache comes with it. We got to the point where we had tried so many times to make things work, we became incredibly bitter with eachother over everything that we ended up hating eachother because of it. With everything she put me through, I don't like the person she is now because of it.
And you said something about her going into the reserves?? If I were you I would incourage it too. What she is doing is trying to run away from her problems thinking that when she gets back they will all go away and everything will be fine...........well she's sadly mistaken!!! Not only will they still be here but they will be much worse then before she left. But in this situation it will benefit you. It will give you time to get away from her and clear your head to make up your mind what you really want.
One last piece of advice........if you have any doubt that this relationship has the chance to fail again......do you, her, and the daughter a favor and end it now. If you truely believe that you have it in you to do no matter what it takes to make this work......and never give up even though you might be completely miserable, heartbroke, and whatever else might happen........then stick with it!!
~Nick
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