When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. <br><br>Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants. <br><br>A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes. <br><br>The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills. <br><br>While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle. <br><br>Modern rain suits made of fabrics that &quot;breathe&quot; enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience. <br><br>Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. <br><br>You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass. <br><br>You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese. <br><br>The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians. <br><br>When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on. <br><br>Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone. <br><br>A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup. <br><br>A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck. <br><br>In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear. <br><br>The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling. <br><br>The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle. <br><br>It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home. <br><br>Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears. <br><br>In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate. <br>

 

I don't have a tuba, will a trombone work?

 

[quote author=Wade link=board=10;threadid=8188;start=0#79029 date=1039629886]<br>I don't have a tuba, will a trombone work?<br>[/quote]<br>Works for Me.<br><br>Note to self DO NOT camp in the Valley! :

 

 

Can we still send the kids on a snipe hunt?

 

[quote author=Horse Hauler link=board=10;threadid=8188;start=0#79071 date=1039634913]<br>Can we still send the kids on a snipe hunt?<br>[/quote]<br>'<br>But of course would not be a camping trip with out ti!

 

Sage advice ;D