Believe me it not just the Bay area thats mentally spent. My gals son goes to school in the area and the teachings are the same.That really fries me.

 

Since we're over-simplifiing the mind of a developing child into their favorite color, lets go another direction. Does a child have to get hit by a car to know if it is bad or not? Is it not the parents responsibility to protect the child from that?

Some childeren are able to be exposed to more complex thoughts than others at different ages. It is the responsibilty of the parent to watch how and when the child develops and determine when the they are mentally ready to deal with increasingly complex concepts.

To truly beleive in your side of something you have to know why the other is wrong. But again the child should not have to spend time in the ICU to learn the car can hurt them.

I also am not a parent. And (hopfully) won't be for a few years. I was however(still am), a very analitical child. I started forming my own opinion about things around 10 years old. Some where aligned with my parents, some were not. They where based on my curiousity and my investigation.

Randy

 

Very well Simplified!!!

 

I was thinking about taking my 5 y.o. son downtown and finding a crack-head. Then we'll follow him around to see how his day goes. It will be especially educational if the crack-head gets shot at and/or killed. Then my son will be properly exposed to the reasoning about why you shouldn't do drugs.

I mean, evidently it must not be reasonable to talk to and try to explain things to your children. According to some peoples thinking (especially those without children ) they need the exposure to actually learn.

And yeah, even though my son seems to have the concept down to not stand out in the street waiting for a car to mow him down, maybe I should find some graphic pictures of people slaughtered by vehicles so he will be properly exposed.


Yes, I'm being ridiculous. But if I were attending a parade and some 'activist' was trying to convince others that being gay is OK and/or cool, and assuming my 5 y.o. understood his message ... should I say, "son, you have to make up your own mind if you think being gay is OK." Heck no. I certainly will sway him to my way of thinking because I try to live my life in a legal, ethical, and Christian way. I will tell him that I think a gay lifestyle is wrong (and I will explain to him why I think so). If some want to call that hiding my son and swaying him one way or other ... so what. Call it what you will. I will raise my boys the best way I know how no matter what others want to call it. I don't care if someone wants to label it. I give no value to labels and names.

As a side note: This D/A mother that my wife knew taught her child that it is alright to walk in front of traffic (like in parking lots) as long as he held up his hand (like a traffic cop) to indicate for the cars approaching him to stop. Well, it happened that this small boy did this one day ... just walked right out in front of traffic in a parking lot and held up his hand. Luckily a guy in an SUV slammed on his brakes and stopped when he saw the boy, and the boy wasn't hurt, just casually started walking and went into the building. This was where my wife worked at the time at a medical fitness center, with a regular fitness center too. The guy in the SUV came inside (this is where my wife caught wind of the situation), found the boy and asked to know who is parent(s) were. The SUV owner told the mother what the boy did and that it scared the crap out of him and that she should teach him not to walk in front of cars. My wife was there, and said that the mother said to the SUV guy, "Well, didn't he hold up his hand ... like this?" And she held up her hand like a traffic cop. So the SUV guys is baffled with this look on his face and says, "Well ... come to think of it ... he was holding his hand up. But I stopped not because of his hand, but because I darn near ran him over!" I feel sorry for that kid if his mother keeps teaching him such things. OK, this story is not really related, but it came to my mind during my ridiculousness above.

- JyRO

 

Regarding parental influence and guidance, someone much wiser than I said:
Rusty

 

CASMOKIN. It's amazing the difference between the central valley and the bay area, isn't it. I lived for three years in Modesto when I was on recruiting duty and it never ceased to amaze me the difference when you cross the Altamont Pass. Thank God they've still got values there in Ripon and the surrounding area.

 

i find it unbeliveable that someone would defend them. what they did was tacky and wrong, simple as that.

 

May I add CLAYMORE!!!

 

JyRO's got some good points. Some parents are idiots, and will likely raise idiotic children. I don't even really feel sorry for those types, all I can do is laugh.
As far as the topic of paraders soliciting MY son? Uh Un, that usually doesn't go over well with this Dad. Last year on a trip to Jamacia I was disgusted by the way the locals treated the tourist's kids. Handing them little junk wooden toys, then telling the parents they owed them money? It was to the point that I stood over to the side to watch it happen, to see if what I had seen was the "norm". I told my wife when we got back to our tour van that if that was my kid being handed ANYTHING on the street like that, it wouldn't have been pretty. Likely would have ended up in a physical atlercation. Same goes for Queers, try and hand my son something without first consulting me, your not going to like the outcome. We have to keep an out at ALL times for the little ones. I get silly with it, stressing out at the beach when toddlers (diaper age) are playing knee deep water with no supervision?? People are amazing.

 

Well PJ I was going to stay out of this one but after reading your comments, I have to say something.

What kind of a parent are you if you feel it is necessary for you to protect your children?

How can you possibly stand there and tell us you know more about raising your children than some body who doesn't even have children?

Surely you are just being over protective?

Well aren't you?????

Darn right you are!!! and I for one am glad you are too !

The number one job of any parent is to protect their children and see to it that they are brought up in a wholesome nurturing manner, devoid of all the wacko's and bad stuff out there. Yes we have to warn them that such things exist, but we MUST control their intake to insure that have a chance to grow up as well rounded as possible.

PJ, don't change a thing.....you recognize your responsibility and you are obviously standing up to the challenge.

As to those individuals who think being politically correct is the proper way to raise your child, give me a call when your 3 yr old is approached by some stranger and we will talk about it.

(PS I am being sarcastic in my remarks toward PJ, I agree with his comments and wish more parents did as well)

 

Lary, as once in a while, is absolutely right, we have to protect our children. We also have to make them recognize and understand ALL that is out there, in the real world. Mind you that exposing them, teaching them, showing them everything that is 'NOT GOOD' does not mean having them experience it but rather just giving them not just the "dry" facts but the ability to understand them too. There is no better prevention from anything bad than having your child understand why it is bad as oposed to having it just labeled BAD.

...and of course loving them, always, no matter what, even when you may "hate what they did"

Peter

 

I have to fully agree with Top. I had five kids, no dope problems, no police records, no alcohol problems. One of the big reasons that we moved from Long Island was because of the influence of the neighborhood and the schools. My kids nicknamed me the "heavy hand" and still joke about it. This does not mean I beat my kids, but they knew that there were limits. My daughter a few years ago was talking about how strict I was with them, I mentioned to her, she had only been spanked about three times. She called me a few day later and told me that she had been thinking about it and that was right, it was not the spankings, but the fear of them.

I had many trips to the school over the years, if you don't stand up for your kids, no one else will either. There are several places in the Bible that instruct you to diligently bring up your children the way that you feel is the correct way to behave. Any parent makes a bunch of mistakes with their children, but the children know and realize where you are trying to direct them.

They have to know that you are in control, but if the love is there, they will never forget that. What is the hardest thing is the letting go in their teens so that they can learn their own way. They have to learn to make mistakes too. If you have done your job well while they are young, they will probably be fine after some rough spots.

All that said, there have been a few times when someone tried to affect them against what we believe, yes, a physical encounter is a definite risk for the perpetrator. I am not generally bashfull in my response to these situations. I attempted to teach them, Love your God first, love your country second. That is the way I was brought up.

 

it seems funny to me, i have 3 kids. and i do let them run a bit harder than most folks. but it is in a different way. 2 years ago i was rock crawling with my son in my land cruiser. and i stoped and was talking with some friends, and my son was getting bored. so i told him take off and go do some wheelin, but not to far. we were on a ridge line that had many trails on it say 25 yards apart. so my friends looked at me like i was crazy. letting a 12 year old take the rig wheelin. they said he is only a kid and you are going to let him drive that thing on 44" tires, i said sure. i am not in the business of raising kids, i am trying to raise young adults. the whole world is full of kids, i don't think it needs any more. my daughters are used to much more than 99% of the girls their age. but they know the differance between right and wrong.
and i have to say nothing makes you prouder to be a dad when people come up and tell ya what great kids you have.

 

Four girls here. All grown with their own kids and still no alcohol problems, no drugs and no jail time. Never had to spank any of them, but they knew the possibility was there.

My philosophy to them: "You're not an idiot, you know right from wrong. When you get into a "situation", stop and think, and you'll know the right thing to do." I guess they listened.

Only thing......they should have let ME choose their husbands.

 

Remember what I said about letting go and rough spots?