drawson

&amp;#65279;1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to <br>use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. <br><br>2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but <br>you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. <br><br>3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end <br>and I think, &quot;Well, that's not going to happen.&quot; <br><br>4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying <br>of nothing. <br><br>5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an <br>argument going. <br><br>6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one<br>talks <br>about seeing UFOs like they use to. <br><br>7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about <br>a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men <br>is they're a bunch of liars. <br><br>8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. <br><br>9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to <br>criticism. <br><br>10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred <br>dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? <br><br>11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is <br>weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. <br><br>12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come <br>to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. <br><br>13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly <br>what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and <br>be replaced by something even more bizarre and explicable. There is another <br><br>theory which states that this has already happened. <br><br>14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a <br>whole box to start a campfire? <br><br>15. You read about all these terrorists-most of them came here legally, but <br>they hang around on these expired visas, some for as long as10-15years. <br>Now, compare that to Blockbuster . . . You're two days late with a video <br>and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of <br>immigration.

chuck3

jweir

Good one!