A major research institution has discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element, for now, has been named,<br>&quot;GOVERNMENTIUM.&quot;<br> <br>GOVERNMENTIUM has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an &quot;atomic mess&quot; of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.<br>Since GOVERNMENTIUM has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected and it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. The most minute amount of GOVERNMENTIUM can cause one reaction to take four to six weeks to complete when it would normally take less than one second.<br> <br>GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but every four years undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.<br>This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to speculate that GOVERNMENTIUM is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as &quot;Critical Morass&quot;. You will know it when you encounter it. I don't know for sure, but I think we're there.<br><br>

 

You forgot to mention how expensive it is...

 

JP, would that be the quoted price or the price when actually delivered (about 200-300 percent more due to unseen R&amp;D, assorted cost overruns, moving site to protect previously unknown species and attendant pork barrel add-ons)?<br><br>Rob

 

All of the above. Since it's almost W-2 time, I was just thinking of the loud sucking sounds of half the money I earn leaving my pocket... :'(