Ed's Vacation
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Southeastern Oklahoma
Posts: 112
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Ed's Vacation
This is in response to a thread that was on here this morning and then was deleted. The person responsible was from somewhere in the NW U.S. He knows who he is. ;D<br>Here goes:<br><br>Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean<br>cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life - until the boat sank.<br><br>He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.<br><br>After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most<br>gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"<br><br>"I rowed over from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."<br><br>"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."<br><br>"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material<br>found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I wove<br>the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."<br><br>"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"<br><br>"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the<br>island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."<br><br>Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.<br><br>After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.<br><br>While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumb struck.<br><br>As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"<br><br>"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut<br>juice." "It's not coconut juice, " the woman replies. "I built a still.<br>How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her handwoven couch to talk.<br><br>After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."<br><br>No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.<br>"WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "what next?"<br><br><br>When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing but vines' strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.<br><br>"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..."<br><br><br>She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing: "You<br>mean---", he swallows excitedly,<br><br>"We can watch Oklahoma Football from here?"
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post