A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by.

He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Ryan”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Ryan Jay Robinson. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Ryan Jay Robinson, every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Ryan Jay Robinson. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was something really special.”

Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Ryan Jay Robinson, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow. Some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Ryan, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Ryan Jay Robinson.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Ryan. He died. I’m married to his widow.”

 

Many years ago there was a daily joke here. Went digging and found the thread. Do any of you old timers remember this?:

https://www.dieseltruckresource.com/...g-smile-29658/

 

Stan, I remember that. I remember when I stumbled across it. I was working on an offshore platform in Angola in 2009 and read the whole thing. Had some great laughs. Would love to see that come back.
Shovel, I got a kick out of your joke. Told it to my wife and she thought it was pretty funny too

 

Another vote to bring it back.

 

OK, here is one for you. This one is maybe borderline as to whether it can go here, or should be in the political forum;

How do you settle a presidential election when the vote is too close to call?
With an ice fishing contest, of course!

After the first round of votes were counted, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were deadlocked. Instead of going through a recount, the two agreed to a week-long ice fishing contest to settle the election. Whoever caught the most fish at the end of the week would be the President.

The candidates decided a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place. No observers on the fishing grounds, but both candidates would need to have their catches verified and counted each night at 5pm.

After Day 1, Trump returned with a total of 10 fish, Hillary came back with nothing.

Day 2 finished, and Trump caught another 20 fish, but Hillary once again came back with nothing!

That night, Hillary and her cronies got together and accused Trump of being a "low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun." Instead of fishing on Day 3, they were just going to follow Trump to spy on him and figure out how he was cheating.

Day 3 finished up and Trump had an incredible day, adding 50 fish to his total!

That night, Hillary and her democratic buddies got together for the full report on how Donald was cheating. Hillary stood up to give her report and said,

"You are not going to believe this, he's cutting holes in the ice!"


And that, my friends, tells you all you need to know about the intelligence on the left side of the aisle!

 

Stan, when Obummer started talking about a Glock that will hold many clips, I reconned his IQ at that of a mushroom.