The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush.

They shake hands and, after a brief chat about world affairs, the Iraqi says, "I have a question that I think perhaps you can answer.

"President Bush says, "Well, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'll do my best."

The Iraqi ambassador continues, "My son watches this show
'StarTrek' and in it there are Russians, Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek. "

President Bush laughs, leans toward the Iraqi, and whispers, "It's because it takes place in the future...."


-----------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Osama Bin Laden

TO: All Al Qaeda Fighters

SUBJECT: The Cave


Do not distribute outside the Organization.


Hi Guys.

We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a Jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles we
should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation (a health & safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rotation.... Have you??

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the crud out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing that "Wassup" thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought some Kraft Singles recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the package, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two slices of cheese were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth, I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy,Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA LOVES DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that "the chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain" will not be accepted in the future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.


Love you lots,
Group Hug.
Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.