Well I got back from my hunting trip Sunday, and went to my parents house to clean up and take care of a few things. My mother grabs me and sits me down, and says they had a problem last night, and that I needed to know before I found out somewhere else. She explained to me that my brother went out at 2am Sunday morning to pick up a friend at a party (at least thats what he told my parents...he's 19 almost). Anyway, he was actually going to pick up a bag of weed wich he claims was for one of the kids he works with (who knows at this point whether it was for him or not, he's done it before). He has the money the kid gave him, plus money from his paycheck he just cashed and some money my grandmother gave him for a new car, roughly $500.

He goes to a convenient store parking lot and finds these guys to pick the drugs up from. There's 4 of them, some big (graduated with me from high school) and some small. The big guy who I graduated with, is the ring leader, he's an indian and so is his father, both have been in trouble with the law before, but because of the reservation the cops can't get them easily. The others are various punks, thugs, and generally idiots, after they steal my brothers cash, and threaten to kill him they take off in their car on a major 4 lane road. My brother gets in his car and decides to chase them as he calls my cousin, an ex special forces/current FBI agent. He never gets ahold of him. The thugs end up wrecking the car at a major intersection, and my brother gets out of the car and makes sure they are ok, at least the 3 that didn't run. The one kid told my brother he could get him his money back if he didn't call the cops, but my brother calls them anyways (he's 6'2 135lbs...thats not a misprint) and they show up and call my parents. They spent 3 hours with my brother and even brought in Narcotics officers from downtown Buffalo to talk to him, they want to catch this indian kid and get him off the streets.

These guys they locked up won't be in long, and they already have a restraining order to stay away from my brother and our family, one of them threatened my mother from the backseat of the police cruiser, then the cop made sure he wouldn't be talking anymore by putting the spit bag over his head (its not comfy...trust me). The one I'm real worried about is the indian, He and I never got along in HS, and he knew enough to stay away from me after a few physical confrontations (he's 5'8 190 and pretty built, I'm 6'2 235 and fairly built myself). Now he's going after my brother to get back at me, and he has no conscience, so I don't know how far he'll take this. What do you do under these conditions? I know where he lives, and I could call the cops when he's home, but his father will hide him. How do I protect my brother? My friends know, and they'll keep an eye out for him, but what else can I do? I know I shouldn't take the law into my own hands, but I'm not sure I could stop myself if I saw this kid. Thanks for letting me vent here guys, and any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

-Matt

 

lets see, you in NY, hide in your house with dial-a-prayer on speed dial.

sorry to hear about your situation.

Me in my state would get a professional opinion on the "stand your ground law" with a reputable lawyer and be ready to use it...

 

Boy, what a dilemma. I can sympathize with your concern for your brother but...

1) He's 19, and needs to take responsibility for his actions
2) He's 19, and I feel certain knows better than to use drugs
3) He's 19, and knows possessing marijuana is illegal
4) He's 19, and needs to grow up and stop lying to his parents
5) He's 19, and probably knows these guys are bad news from the experiences you've had with them
6) He's 19, and probably knows at least one person that has been robbed during a drug deal
7) He's 19, and he asked for it, stay out of it.
8) He's 19, and in my opinion his brother ought to be kicking his butt for 1-8 above.

 

Diddo on what T-Rad said. There comes a point in time when you jsut have to tell yourself that he is old enough to know better. You certainly are known by the company you keep! If they come after you personally then defend yourself. At 19 its time to man up and pay for any mistakes and decisions you have made. He knows what he was doing was wrong, now hes got to pay the price that comes along with that it sounds like. I wish you the best of luck and I wish your little bro the best as well. Some lessons are only learned the hard way some times.

 

I think it's hard NOT to want to protect your loved ones even if they're doing something stupid, but at the same time if YOU do something stupid then you're really not going to accomplish anything. Unless you perceive a real and direct threat I think you should stay out of it.

 

Good luck is all I can really say and be prepared for anything. I know what you are going through because my younger brother (just turned 20) is a great concern to me because of dope and drinking. My mother babies him and lets him get away with to much. Anyways, good luck and I hope everything stays quite and works out for you and your family.

 

I would make it known that if your brother is hurt in anyway, the punishment will be swift and extemely painful. In iowa you only get 2 days in jail for assualt. Dont worry 99% of the time nothing happens anyway.

 

Well, He made his bed let him lay in it. I have a brother like that and he has to learn his lessons himself. You preaching to him isn't going to help. I wish him the best of luck, He's gonna need it.

 

The situation boiled down without rose colored glasses this......

Your brother is 19. doesn't seem to have a very good head on his shoulders ( no offense ) but what was he going to do IF he caught up to the four guys? I'm guessing get beat down again.
He is into drugs and obviously his friends aren't really outstanding citizens either or he wouldn't be buying drugs for his friends, if that is who he was actually buying them for. ( Is his friends legs broke and can't buy the dope himself?? hmmm...)
Anyhoo, I think He needs to grow up and take a good look at the path he is going down. This NEVER would have and should have happend if he wasn't doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

My advise is this. Introduce him to Madhat. Thats right. I think he needs a reality check before he does something thsat will ruin his young life. and what better place for a reality check than spending a few months on Madhats island???

Sorry for being so harsh but i work at a federal penitentiary and this is the story these inmates give me all the time. and alot of them are only 19 and 20 yrs old. " I was just buying this for a buddy when".... "It wasn't mine but" ...
"I was just holding it for a friend when"... I say introduce him to a recruiter and see what happens.

 

well if it was my brother some people would have alot of broken knee caps and some stolen cars along with some extra assurance from me if something should happen to me or my family there will be some very very very very very bad reprocutions.

but thats just me. i guess its different were you live.

let the law hopefully do its just and just be careful.

 

Amen, I didn't do anything like this but the military is a great eye opener. I am grateful to have served in the USAF. Just what I needed a reality check.

 

S cesnick hit it on the head if its not to late. But in respect to you what would bother me the most in this group is a possible murder. Kids today just don't seem to have any fear in them.

 

Totallyrad got this right. 19 and of age,.... better take responsibility seriously or he will pay the price. If you as relatives or friends continue to be "enablers" he will continue to act this way using you, begging you, accepting your bribe money, hospitality, love and anything else you are willing to sacrifice, all in the name of DRUGS.

Unless you let him find out himself and deal with the problems he causes himself, hit bottom as they say,.....he will just continue to cause you problems.

It would be easy to say "don't ask how I know". I wouldn't post this if I didn't already know from being on the parent side of this. If you can, steer him to a private consuling. At least he will be aware of what he is doing and how it is affecting others. It may come back when he is trying to figure out what to do.

As for the violence protecting your brother, again you are simply enabling him to continue this behavior. If he brings the problems home, call 911 and let the LEO do their job. Stay out of it or you will get in deep yourself. Don't get suckered into this. Let him and his friends get hauled to the jailhouse and deal with the results. You won't get any medal for being a hero.

The best thing will be to be there when he finally wakes up. The hardest part will be recognizing this as opposed to continued bad behavior.

I HATE DRUGS

 

I understand you guys want him to burn for this, and I agree my parents were soft from the start, to the point that my mother and stepfather hid this crap from my dad because he would have kicked his rump so bad he'd have social services at the house for visiting.

On the other hand, I have been the one to kick him in the rump and tell him how stupid he is, his old friends did the same thing, before they disowned him. I don't have that option, he's blood. I HATE DRUGS too, but like I said, this indian kid would murder him without a care in the world, and never feel sorry about it. I have often wanted to call a few friends to kick his rump around when he is doing something stupid, just to teach him the lesson, but letting him get shot, or killed is not what I call a fair punishment.

I'd love for him to go into the military, but like I said, at 6'2 135lbs recruiters see him and lose interest, he's built like a 13 year old girl...kind of the odd ball of the family. Besides that my parents wouldn't let him go into the military during the war, I don't agree with them, but if he's living with them it is their decision until he can support himself.

 

I don't want him to burn but he needs to start growing up. I can tell you without reservation he has to change his ways or he will get hurt. You're going to follow your heart, that's obvious, but don't ruin your life based on his decisions. Has the FBI cousin weighed in on this yet?